Arty Kitkat
Found this site last week and so glad others on there are open about their depression & anxiety. I've suffered with both since my early teens (now mid 30s) and I'm in the midst of an 18 month spell now. I hate it and get so frustrated with myself. When I get really low I get some really horrible, dark thoughts of harming myself or worse. They feel like they're not my thoughts.
What I hate most is the shaking. I think I'm doing okay and then I see my hands trembling and want to scream!!
I find humour helps and being able to be honest without feeling that people are freaked out (too much). I also oddly find that most of the time I'm still able to work. I work in Mental Health so it sounds mad (excuse the pun) that I can still help others even though I can't help myself.
Thats another one of my hates about depression. The 'beating myself up'. I know I do it but for the life of me I can't stop. I saw a psychologist yesterday for an assessment and she thinks some kind of talking therapy would really help. I hope so 
When I'm well I never set myself such high standards but when I'm like I am now everything I do seems so significant. Aghhh.....
Anyway, I enjoyed the rant. Michelle, I hope you find what you need to help you. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you as well as me. x
Posts by Arty Kitkat
Holy Ground by A-ha. Its one of my favourite songs
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