Knittin' Kitten
Manabunga, write in any thread you want =) it's all just people looking for advice or someone to talk to, it's a very open community here.
Thanks for the ideas guys, I like the thought of some photo frames. Or maybe just a collection of nice papers and bits, but that could be really expensive and there isn't really anywhere in York for that. Although, I could go back to Bristol, get stuff, then mail it up to her?
Posts by Knittin' Kitten
Apparently he was having an argument with someone and just lost it. I don't own a TV or go on any news websites but you still find out about these things.
I think Newsround is the best. You find out information but it's never depressing, even when it's bad news - and then you get lovely news at the end. And much less patronising than real news.
I just missed Andy's dad's birthday and his mum's is coming up. For his dad I'm not too worried, I think we're gonna go in together and get something, but I'd like to make something for his mum.
She's into card-making but wondering whether to branch into any other crafts. Any ideas?
When's the end of sign-ups? And when's send-out? Need to think about this!
Well one of my friends just tried to talk to me about why I've been so down and been having panic attacks and she basically just told me that all my reasons are bollocks...which, guess what, made me cry and have a really severe panic attack! I know that some things are in my head, but telling me that's stupid doesn't help. Yeah, when I had a huge screaming panic attack and people were throwing bottles at me, they weren't trying to kill me like I was sure they were, but that doesn't make the feeling any less. Panic attacks aren't rational. And then when I have genuine concerns because my supposed best friend is going out with a drug addict she's met twice who told me BEFORE HE MET HER that he was going to use her for sex by any means necessary, and she won't even talk to me about it because she clearly knows she's doing something wrong, then according to Lizzie I'm lying or I've misunderstood things and I've just got to let Lauren do what she wants. Doesn't matter whatsoever that this guy tried to sleep with me and then turned on me and got really vicious, no, I must just be fucking crazy.
I've done breathing exercises before, and they stop me from having huge ones but I can't keep on just having little ones all the time cause they're really getting me down and making it hard for me to do anything.
Rawr, I think my problem is that I feel I have too much "me" time. I don't like me, I don't like being alone with myself. It's worse now because all my friends have gone home for the summer and I'm left with pretty much just my boyfriend, who doesn't want to hang out all the time and doesn't know how to deal with my problems.
Thanks guys. I think I looked at No Panic the first time it happened but I'll look through those sites again, thank you =) I don't have your number any more KitKat, my phone messed up a while back and I lost all the numbers, if you could PM it that would be great.
I'm not sure how to feel about medication. I don't even like taking paracetamol. And I don't want anything that I can become addicted to, or anything that will affect my personality too much (I don't actually care that much but I don't think my boyfriend would like it - I've dated someone who was on anti-depressants and it was really horrible.) But I guess I have to wait to see what the doctor says first!
I used to suffer from panic attacks when I was a bit younger, about three/four years ago. They started off with just feeling a bit panicky and my heart beating too fast and then I started having huge fits where I just collapsed and screamed so much I couldn't breathe, but carried on screaming because I thought I was going to die (these were usually triggered by beating beaten up or having things thrown at me. School, eh?)
But I've started having the smaller ones again. It's less physical this time and I'm just getting them when I worry about things, specifically things out of my control. I was pretty stressed out and depressed before the end of the year but now I've finished all my uni work it seems to have gotten worse. I'm miserable all the time, lost my sex drive, finding it very hard to even leave the house or hang out with my friends...and now it's kinda turned into a panic/anxiety thing. Pretty much every day I'm fighting off attacks now and it's really worrying me, and I don't really have anyone to look after me.
I just wanted to know if anyone has any suggestions. I know some breathing exercises but they kind of only hold them off for a bit, and I find that if I make one go away with a breathing exercise I get one quicker later. I know it's a psychological thing and I'm trying to not avoid triggers and stuff, cause I know that only makes things worse, but I don't know what to do. I have an appointment with a counsellor on Friday and a doctor on Monday to see if there's anything that can be done, but if anyone can help before then, that would be great.
Blargh my friend is still annoying me so much! She's copied my exact style for the summer ball so we're gonna look alike, but she's bought expensive clothes whereas I've had to customise all mine so they're not as fancy. And the other night I was trying to explain to her about how depressed I've been and she just wasn't listening and kept talking about herself! It was like,
Me: The only reason I'm not self-harming right now is because I think Andy will leave me if he sees the marks.
Lauren: Yeah well at least you have a boyfriend!
Me: *smack forehead*
And now she's decided that she likes this guy our friend Roxie introduced to us, who spent ages trying to sleep with me but is a drug addict twat who just wants to get laid because he's a 19 year old virgin. And she keeps asking me advice and it's hard cause I don't even like the guy any more, after I asked him not to sleep with Lauren on my birthday and he told me to fuck off, and then came to my party even though I asked him not to (he didn't sleep with her but he tried, which means he broke his promise to me anyway.)
So sick of all of this. Andy's being really inconsiderate right now, right when I really need him, and my friends are all leaving soon =(
I really hope they keep it going - I'm on episode 23 of series 3 and they seem to be heading toward a cliffhanger. We shall see!
Heh thanks *hugs back*
And now my housemate is playing music really loudly so I couldn't go to sleep even if I wanted to.
I feel so horrible at the moment. I'm just down all the time, I don't want to do anything, I just feel like crying all the time. I don't feel right at all and I don't know how to make myself feel better. I've got a friend who's going through the same thing and he's just started on medication because he almost killed himself, and he's been telling me that he's still thinking about it and he doesn't think he'll live to 30 (he's 23 now.) I keep crying because I want him to be better, and I'm also scared that I'll end up like that if things don't get any better, but I don't have anyone to talk to. My boyfriend wanted to sleep on his own tonight but I texted him telling him that I can't stop crying because my friend wants to kill himself, and please could I come over and just sleep on the couch or something cause I don't want to be alone, but he didn't reply. Sometimes I think he's wrong for me because he's never really had any problems so he doesn't get mine, but I can't be with someone as unstable as I am because we just tear each other apart. And he doesn't mean to but he makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him because I'm irrational and neurotic. And my friend is probably off sleeping with my other friend tonight, when I asked the latter not to sleep with the former but he told me to fuck off, and then I asked him not to come to my birthday party on Monday and he told me to fuck off and that he's coming anyway, which is gonna make things lovely and awkward. And right now I want anything but to be alone and that's all I can be.
Well The Big Bang Theory is more genuinely nerdy. You don't have to be a geek to like The IT Crowd but you do for BBT. Like you May O, my boyfriend didn't know how nerdy I was until I was like "Yeah I actually know that theory" or "I know what happens in the real world and Sheldon's right" or whatever
We love Cat and Tom =)