Knittin' Kitten
Lots of ideas now! Got just less than two weeks till send-out so plenty of time to sort stuff. Really glad though, could do with a project to get into =)
Posts by Knittin' Kitten
We love you Heather =) I know you probably mean in real life, and there's only so much online friends can do for you, but we are here for you. You always have the Random Rants section ;)
I got back to Bristol late on Friday night, basically went straight to bed to the sounds of my parents arguing, then last night went out for a birthday celebration. It had to be a joint one with my ex boyfriend because his birthday is two days after mine, and we both wanted to do something that night and we have the same group of friends anyway, so it made it easier. Everyone was largely nice, and I couldn't believe how much I'd missed everyone, but I was still kinda feeling...left out. Tim's always been the more charismatic one out of us and I never got a word in when we were dating but he was like...stealing everyone away from me last night. Then I got drunk and started confessing to my friend about how bad I've been lately, so he decided to take me on a walk around the block to calm me down. During which he kissed me, which makes me feel like shit because I have a boyfriend and people only ever want me for sex and it's tiring. Then when we got back to the pub they said we couldn't come back in because it was too late, so we just leaned over the railing to where people were sat in the beer garden, but no one noticed we were there. Except Tim, who sent one of our friends up to say that me and Nick weren't interesting enough to bother with, so they weren't going to leave, and didn't tell anyone else that we were stuck out. Which is just so fucking vindictive. I burst into tears straight away and my friend Gaz came out so I was just sobbing against him, and then Chaz noticed where we are and when he came over, Nick started ranting on about how much of a dick Tim is and that someone should tell him how much he'd upset me, but Chaz always defends Tim and just got really arsey with Nick. I ended up just begging Gaz to take me home but I was crying all the way back.
It's just that right now I need a good support system, I need my friends and I need to feel comfortable and I'm sorry, but telling me I'm not worth bothering with and abandoning me is not what I need right now. I start my antidepressants tomorrow but they won't kick in for a few weeks, and for those few weeks I'm likely to feel worse and have high self-harming and suicidal tendencies, and considering I'm getting them now it's not going to help, and what I desperately need is to be surrounded by people who love me. Not people who care that little. And I miss Andy and I don't want to be living in this house and I can't believe I'm back for two and a half months...
I have to pack up my whole room by 7 tomorrow evening, and I've only got till 6 today, and busy in the afternoon tomorrow, but I refuse to do it until I finish my Batman comic!
Also, builders really, really frighten me. Sorry to anyone who is a builder/is married to a builder.
Everyone is so much more organise than me =( got like two weeks though.
Why are you waiting till 18? I first went when I was 13 =P
Aaw Ruby, Five Finger Death Punch were such dicks! I like some of their songs but not much, and was just getting into them and enjoying them until he was such a complete twat at the end of the set. Steel Panther are amazing if you like piss-take metal bands who are actually talented. Airbourne are more old-school rock but SO VERY GOOD.
Try moving on from metal to industrial too - Nine Inch Nails, Rammstein, Megaherz etc.
I'm sorry Violetta, that sounds horrible =(
I came back from Download yesterday (it's a metal festival) and now I feel like shit. Beautiful weather for days, and then on Sunday it just poured down for like six hours. I'd gone out only wearing this small halterneck top so when it was pouring down the only thing I had to cover me was a slashed tshirt (not much use). Ended up having to make the half hour trek back to the tent in order to change, but because my only pair of back-up shoes were white, and I didn't have any spare socks to change into and couldn't get the inside of the white ones wet, I stuck wearing the same completely soaked shoes and socks. And ended up walking back in them yesterday (hour long walk from campsite to taxi, two hour standing wait in train station, half hour walk back to my house) and when I finally peeled my shoes off I discover that I've got a mild form of trench foot. My feet are ridiculously swollen up and when I walk it feels like I'm walking on coals. I'm meant to be at a counselling session now but I can barely even walk to the bathroom, let alone to the uni. And I have so much to do this week, I really can't afford to lie in bed all day, and I only have one pair of shoes! Which I haven't broken in yet so they hurt ANYWAY without my feet being ridiculous. And this morning I woke up with a cold. And Andy's ill so I bet I won't be able to stay over his tonight even though I just want to go over there, order a takeaway, cuddle up in bed with some tissues and watch True Blood.
Wow, sorry but that doesn't sound that bad. My art teacher called me fat, screamed at a girl that she was a retard and then slammed the door on her so hard the glass smashed and charged her for it, and used to rip up pieces of peoples' work in class and tell everyone it was just shitty and a waste of materials. Yours just sounds like a normal art teacher - if you're getting marked for something creative, they're gonna try and make you get the highest marks, even if it's not artistically brilliant, just because that's what matters to them.
Aaah bleaching is fine. It just takes forever. I've been trying to get that damn black streak out of my hair for months - most of my hair is very light blonde, like almost white, but I have some streaks of yellow still
Literally just got back from a festival haha, but I will get started soon =)
Ooh is that one of those stick-on ones? My boyfriend might be going as Tony Stark to Halloween and we wanted to find a light like that to put underneath his shirt. He's either going as Stark or Dexter (from the TV series Dexter)
That sounds AWESOME! I want an Iron Man party =( don't have loads of ideas, you know in Iron Man 2 when he's thrown the big party and the girls are dancing behind him? You could dress up like them or put them up around the walls.
I told my mum and she almost cried and really, really isn't happy about it but I said that I feel I need to do this and she backed off. And when I told my boyfriend, he just went "Oh, right" in this way that sounded like he expected me to say more haha.
Thanks Michelle *hugs*
I went to the doctor today and they prescribed me Fluoxetine which is a mild antidepressant and should help me with both depression and my panic/anxiety problems. Just not sure whether to tell my parents and my boyfriend.
Although I've just checked and they're not vegetarian, which is such crap =(
I know what you mean KitKat, I sometimes feel like I wish I wasn't so dependant on it, but things changed and it won't always be like when we were kids.
And I actually disagree Lovette, I think it's very important for countries that are out of reach and suffering from problems to be on the web, it's the only way for them to get across this stuff. And to its' credit, Facebook is pretty good at responding to complaints about groups. A while ago we had a campaign on here to get rid of a group that advocated violence toward women, and we succeeded. This is the nature of the internet though - it's anonymous so people will say horrible things sometimes. But that's because some people are just horrible.
Yeah I need distractions - making stuff helps, so I'm focusing this week on making clothes and that for Download (it's a festival for non-UKers.) Getting into a project really helps me.
I've also found that talking to someone on the phone helps - not talking about the problem, just talking. It means that I have to stop crying and breathe properly in order to be understood. When I first got panic attacks I found self-harming worked to make me stop panicking - obviously I see now that it wasn't a very healthy approach but it's the same idea, do something that you can't do while you're crying and freaking out.