Arty Kitkat
A tough decision but you're strong and have have a great sense of humour which will get you through some of it. I think every now and then there are things that you just know you have to do and this sounds like its one of them times. Remember you have friends here. Although I haven't been on here that much lately I check deviant art most days and check in here at least weekly. Big hugs and good luck for the journey ahead.
Posts by Arty Kitkat
I'm so sorry Tara. I can't even begin to imagine how painful this must be. Maybe you could create something in his memory, I don't know if you paint or maybe create a collage that includes his favourite things and helps you remember the good stuff. Or you could devote a part of your garden if you have one and plant something in his memory. Or get a locket so you can wear a picture of him near your heart.
x
I had a friend at school who'd modified a hoop earring to look like a nose ring - she wore it for a bit and made out she'd got her nose pierced. I think the short answer for why people do it is because its quicker, painless and just easier! If you can try out a look without having to commit yourself to something for life then I tend to think why not. It can give you the freedom to be a bit impulsive and express yourself. I used to have my hair shaved and a bleached streak at the front and loved it at the time but it was a lot of time, energy, money and all the rest. It was fine when I was 16 - 22ish but now I'm 35 I'm just as happy with a quick fix (i.e. some clip on streaks) as I was with the whole separating your hair, bleaching it, wrapping it in cling film, waiting, washing out, dying it, conditioning it and so on.
yeah but unfortunately thats hard to think in the depths of depression. Sometimes it feels as if when you hit rock bottom the only way is to end it all. I know thats not nice to say but I've had those thoughts a lot over the years. I've only ever acted on them once and wouldn't do anything now - I just get the thoughts and then beat myself up because it feels like such a cruel thing to do to others, especially my bf.
*big hugs*
Although I don't have PCOS I can really relate to what you're saying. I also suffer with depression and me and my partner have wanted to start a family for about 5 years now but I've only managed to get pregnant once and that ended before it even started. I had a miscarriage about 2 weeks into knowing.
This spell of depression seems to have been triggered when one of my friends got pregnant. We worked together and had a big project in the pipeline and so when she told me it was a big secret. I felt so shit - I felt as if I was a failure because I wasn't pregnant. I also found I was getting so irritable especially when she would roll in late cos of morning sickness and then make excuses. In the end I had to tell someone. I spoke to my line manager. I know I broke a confidence but it was eating me up. I don't even think I felt particularly jealous - it felt more like I was grieving.
I'm on quite a bit of medication at the moment for the depression so its not advisable to get pregnant. What the psychiatrist forgets is that I feel about as sexy as a brick and I'm zonked out most nights from my medication so no real chance of making babies.
I've gone off on one I know but its because I really feel for you.
The constant stomach ache must be awful and feeling itchy, especially when theres nothing you can scratch is horrible too. When my attention is bad I do things like play games on the computer or DS. I just play really simple things like solitaire. I also got really into zentangles when it was bad before. I started a thread on it in the creative bit ages ago but if you can't find it just google the word zentangle. They are kind of doodles but with a bit of a structure. They are very freeing and can help to feel a bit more creative. I also made myself an inspiration board. It was a project on here ages ago and thought I'd give it a go and that helps sometimes too. I also keep a little tiny note pad with plain paper in my bag everywhere I go so if I think of something I can write it down or if I'm feeling shitty I can also write it down or distract myself.
Also it maybe worth seeing if you have any support groups in your area. I've seen adverts in the past in my local GP's surgery and it may help to talk with other women with PCOS and you may find some happy endings to lift you. I work with a client who has PCOS and she just gave birth to a healthy little boy around easter time. She wasn't trying to get pregnant either so it shows that it does happen.
Sorry kiddo & michelle that things haven't been good 
Big cyberhugs winging there way to you both. I've been pretty shitty too On the plus side I had an assessment today for psychotherapy and, although my face stings from crying it felt like it went okay. I've got a follow up appointment in a couple of weeks but she said that she's thinking art therapy or psychotherapy. Although I love creating I'm a bit uncertain about art therapy. I told her what my worries were though so I will just have to see how it goes.
One of the clients I used to work with used to get really wiffy BO and I think hers may have been hormonal. She's used to get horendous periods too and was overweight and felt pretty crappy about her body. I found that this is an occasion where you do have to be quite straight talking. As you said, kids can be cruel and its better she hears it in private from her sister who cares than get called names as high school. I used to tell my client that it was a problem but that it was the best kind of problem because its really easy to fix. Also check that she is changing sanitary towels/tampons regularly if her periods have started and that she is changes her underwear daily and putting her t-shirts in the wash. I found that the problem needed a double pronged approach - clean clothes, washing properly and daily and deodarant plus lots of positive comments when she gets it right. Even if she is still a little wiffy praise her on the improvements she has made.
I have an aunt like that and I know how difficult things can be. I think what Maria does is probably the best way round things. Just be polite and keep your distance where ever possible. Thankfully my aunt showed her true colours a few years back and its been easier to keep clear off her since but it can be really tricky when people like this are part of your family. There is extra baggage involved which makes it much harder to keep them at a distance.
Good point Sheila - ouch :/ Lol
Thats shit. Its a good job you are an experienced model as I could imagine it would be easy to get sucked into to it, especially if he sold it as if he was recruiting models for his calendar. I can imagine someone just starting out might be a little unsure as to whether this is normal or not and just pay. Does he say anything about whether you get paid if and when the calendar sells?
Going commando is fine in my view but you don't go cycling around in a short skirt unless you want people to see everything. I may be being a tad cynical but it sounds like that particular women wanted people to look at her. Noone reaches maturity and has that little self awareness unless they are unwell. I also think there is subtle a difference between being uninhibited and comfortable in your skin and being an exhibitionist. I think a lot of it is how you carry yourself and about getting clothes that fit you well. I'm pretty inhibited with my body but I tend to see that has an issue of personal baggage and would like to be more happy with the wobbly bits.
Sheila I was just thinking about you and your shoulder. I'm really sorry it got worse and now needs surgery. I hope the surgery fixes things, at least a bit.
I know what you mean about cats - cats are fascinated with anything private or delicate. Its like they have a sixth sense for knowing when its a bad time to rub themselves round your ankles. When one of our cats was really ill with feline leukemia we found out something really interesting (and a little perverse). For months we had been feeling awful as it always took 2 of us to give him his meds. One evening he wasn't playing ball at all and was extra squirmy and my dad dropped the pill on the kitchen floor. We decided to take a break and let him chill out and then try again in a bit. The next thing we know he's looking at the pill on the floor and sniffing it and tapping it around with his paw. Two minutes later he's licked it off the floor!
From then on we'd wait till he was napping on the sofa and give him a stroke. When he was happy and purring I'd put a pill on the side off my hand and he'd just lick it off.
I know what you mean. I don't like etsy much anyway. They charge to list each item which niggles me so I use dawanda - they charge a commission on sales over 10 Euros which I think is a much fairer system.
Thanks Sheila. I've gone back up on my Venlafaxine to 150 as 75 was making me feel so low. I only managed 2 hours at work Thursday The Psychiatrist suggested I go back to 150 if I wasn't managing so thats what I've done. Its a bit frustrating tho as I liked the thought of coming off the Venlafaxine. Even though I still get a bit paranoid about the pschiatrists motives for putting me on the mertazapine I loved the thought of my doset box shutting When I was on 300 of the Venlafaxine it would pop open if I didn't arrange the pills carefully. It was like packing a suitcase.
Ah.. I just checked out the book tree link and the other 'projects' and 'how tos' by that person and they're a bit lacking on the how to bit aren't they. They are just ideas with pics taken off the web :S Don't know what thats about......