Knittin' Kitten
I'm in a fucking awful mood now, so you will just have to deal with the obscenities.
I went out tonight for Andy's friend's birthday, who I know and like. We started at the SU which was fine, but this girl (who I've probably mentioned before) who has been in love with Andy for like two fucking years was there, and she always such a bitch so I was keeping my eye on her. She didn't do anything for ages, then when I went outside for a cigarette she was talking to Andy and as soon as she saw me, she stared right at me and laughed and stroked him on the arm. I was so angry but I just went over and kissed Andy in front of her. Then we went to this pub, and on the way Andy let this girl who is best friends with the fucking whore borrow his jacket, so the fucking whore took his jacket and was wearing it, then kept giving me bitchy little smiles. I told Andy I was upset about it and he got his jacket back straight away and was really nice about it, proper made up to me. Then we went to a club, where the birthday girl grabbed my hand for a second and ran past security, so they gave me the option of paying £9 for the both of us to get in or not get in at all. But everyone else had already paid, so I had to pay the £9. Which meant I had £2 left to spend on drinks, fucking fantastic. But when I was stuck outside, trying to get Steph out so she could pay for herself because I was in tears at this point, Lauren (pretty much my best friend) was with her and the fucking vindictive little whore, and this certain excuse-for-a-woman started bitching about me, and how if I wasn't gonna pay to get in then why should I. But it wasn't me that skipped the goddamn queue, it was Steph! So this miserable mothercunt starts complaining about me to my best friend, saying I'm a cheap bitch and fuck me, and when Steph said we should go wait for me in the foyer she just went "Nah, fuck her, let's go dance." Then tried to drag Andy onto the dance floor.
That miserable sonofabitch, she needs to get her own life and stop trying to steal mine. I try desperately hard not to be violent, because I used to be pretty bad, but god, tonight I got so close to strangling that ugly cunt. And then I wanted to go back to Andy's, because I was pretty upset, but he didn't want me to because he doesn't sleep as well when someone's in his bed, and I understand that but I could really have done with a cuddle tonight because now I'm just sat alone in bed, crying and angry and trying to resist the urge to send some hatemail to that cheap trout.
Posts by Knittin' Kitten
I used to hate breakfast but now it's just a meal for me, like I'll have a veggie burger or some pasta. If I have cereal in the morning it does nothing. Although I'm really craving cereal right now...but 50p isn't enough to buy anything haha.
Yep, 3 hours sleep last night =( I was okay this morning but I've just had a two hour nap and I'm exhausted again. I want to get out to wake myself up but can't =( and I can't sleep all day tomorrow cause I have a parcel to pick up and stuffs to do.
That's okay, as long as you're not perky at me =P
Nah I'm not that bad in the morning. It's largely that I hate being woken up.
Damn you Rachie!
Well last night I went to bed at three and got up at eleven, so that's not too bad. I've got to set my alarm for eight tomorrow morning but I'm not gonna worry too much about getting to bed early - I'll just have some tea and food and a cig in the morning, that'll wake me up!
Yeah it's illegal to drive while using a mobile here, so I get SO angry when my dad does it, especially because he has a huge Land Rover so if he hit someone a smaller car, he would crush it. It pisses me off when people use mobiles; it's bad enough to eat or smoke but mobiles are much worse.
Haha that's guilt, Laurel!
Went to sleep at 6am, woke up 4pm. Problem is, I actually have to get up this Wednesday. Not sure whether to like, force myself to sleep tonight? Or maybe just suffer on Wednesday and hopefully it'll make everything go back to normal.
I'm so jealous of all of you. Ooh, it's 4:10 now, and I'm still up! I won't get anything done tomorrow.
It is very rare that I'm awake at 8:30 in the morning. If I'm not, and I get woken up by you, I'll kill you. If I am awake, I will be full of anger and will kill you. The only thing that gets me through mornings is kids' TV, and I don't have a TV now so I don't know what I'm gonna do when I have to get up for 9am lectures this semester. I'm sure it'll be a case of lots of tea.
Well it's 1:05 and if I go to bed now it will be a ridiculously early night. I normally get to sleep about 5am, then sleep as long as physically possible - sometimes until like 4pm the next day, although that's normally if I've been drinking and stayed at Andy's. The problem is, because I can't sleep at night but can during the day, I try to do that and do interesting, time-consuming things at night, but next semester I've got 9am lectures. That means 7:30am alarm. That means like two hours sleep, great. And one of them is a full day =(
I believe "bees knees" means "business". But I agree, it's annoying and not funny.
I don't want to be cheered up at 8:30 in the morning =( it's not a happy time!
I dunno, most people I know just ignore it!
Argh, this guy I barely know sent out a text this morning saying "Hello everyone! Have a wonderful day you lovely people. It's goooood to be alive. X x"
And I know it's a nice message, but at 8:30 in the morning I don't care whatsoever what kind of mood he's in. And also yeah, he's saying have a good day, but all he's really doing is gloating about how happy he is, when just two days ago I told him I'd been really depressed and feeling like self-harming for the first time in ages, so it's not exactly what I need. Then of course when I asked him if it was necessary to text me at 8:30, he got all bitchy and pretended that the message was just for me and he was being really nice to me, which he was so not.
I had a few dreams last night but I've forgotten most of them now...I know one of them was that Bella (from Twilight - I think I've been reading MarkReadsTwilight too much) had been put in a coffin when she was pregnant "for her own safety" and this creepy mummy thing was trying to get into it, and I walked into the room and it saw me and was chasing after me. Then I woke up, but when I went back to sleep I dreamt that I was at the SU with this girl from my drama group who I haven't seen in like five years and I was telling her about the mummy dream. Oh, the mummy looked like a cross between this:
and this
I went into the room, sat down and just burst into tears before she even spoke to me haha. I didn't like it though, she did that thing that nurses always do where they try and do it without telling you so it's quick and they can go "See, you didn't even notice!" after, except I just saw her come round to my side and touch my arm so I looked around and saw it go in and started crying even more. I would much have preferred if she'd told me she was gonna do it so I could have looked away. And it hurt a lot and my upper arm really hurts now, like I've got a huge bruise all over it (this is six hours later.) Didn't feel too sick though. But yeah, I just sat there crying for ages and she was making me breathe properly and then I had to book in my next one *sigh* so I have to go through this again in a month, then five months after that.
I like watching films till I sleep, but it has to be a film I know inside and out so I don't need to look up. Juno's a good one for that. Or Pan's Labyrinth, cause it's not in English anyway.
I'm terrified. I wasn't doing too badly yesterday, just not thinking about it, but now all I can think about is this horrible, disgusting thing stabbing into my body! And I've decided that I don't want to see the needle at all, because I might scream, so I'm gonna get Andy to go in first and get them to put it away while I come in and sit down. I just really hope I don't cry or anything in front of him =(