RANDOM RANTS!

I'm sorry Violetta, that sounds horrible =(

I came back from Download yesterday (it's a metal festival) and now I feel like shit. Beautiful weather for days, and then on Sunday it just poured down for like six hours. I'd gone out only wearing this small halterneck top so when it was pouring down the only thing I had to cover me was a slashed tshirt (not much use). Ended up having to make the half hour trek back to the tent in order to change, but because my only pair of back-up shoes were white, and I didn't have any spare socks to change into and couldn't get the inside of the white ones wet, I stuck wearing the same completely soaked shoes and socks. And ended up walking back in them yesterday (hour long walk from campsite to taxi, two hour standing wait in train station, half hour walk back to my house) and when I finally peeled my shoes off I discover that I've got a mild form of trench foot. My feet are ridiculously swollen up and when I walk it feels like I'm walking on coals. I'm meant to be at a counselling session now but I can barely even walk to the bathroom, let alone to the uni. And I have so much to do this week, I really can't afford to lie in bed all day, and I only have one pair of shoes! Which I haven't broken in yet so they hurt ANYWAY without my feet being ridiculous. And this morning I woke up with a cold. And Andy's ill so I bet I won't be able to stay over his tonight even though I just want to go over there, order a takeaway, cuddle up in bed with some tissues and watch True Blood.

I never want to be bitchy and call people out but if I could I would say this to you :
You are really rude. You attack people when they are trying to get things off their chest. You criticize everyone. You always say not to judge but in fact you are very judgmental. If you think we are all wrong, then please go somewhere else. You ruin a lot of commradery with your nay-saying. I avoid you and for me that is a big thing because I truly want to be everyone's friend and it bugs me when I can't get along with someone. Try being positive and supportive for once, instead of making people feel bad for feeling bad in the first place.

Holy Lord...this is some Jerry Springer threads here!

I feel so bad now because my only rant is I have to get up every 3 hours to feed or change my baby while my husband sleeps....so he can work hard for us and allow me to stay home. Sheesh. I feel like such a turd. Ok, I changed my mind about ranting. lol

On a side note...I have a wonderful ability to think through people's problems and give them advice on how to cope with things. (Or so say my friends) Usually if a person really tries to understand what I tell them to do in order to fix their problem, and really thinks about it, their problems are solved. Or at least they're able to cope with them and let stupid stuff roll off their back. I don't tell you what you want to hear. I tell you how I see it. A friend of mine, who has "problems" all the time swears that I have never told her wrong.

Soooo. With that said, if any of you need a little one on one, any time...send me an email. I'm usually always online (stay at home mom) and I'd love to help if I can. Not to be weird or anything. But my mother did say I should have been a psychiatrist. I've been counseling HER since I was 9. lol (she's bona-fide nuts)

I beat Pokemon Soul Silver for the DS and now I'm bored as fudge. My motivation to sew has yet to come back. =...( Can someone help me with encouragement?

I have to pack up my whole room by 7 tomorrow evening, and I've only got till 6 today, and busy in the afternoon tomorrow, but I refuse to do it until I finish my Batman comic!

Also, builders really, really frighten me. Sorry to anyone who is a builder/is married to a builder.

ugh. hokay. here goes.

shlomi (the bf)'s personality has completely changed over the last week or two. we rescued a kitten with the understanding that we would adopt her out, but hes being weird about it. i mean, he was having problems at work, and he was pretty stressed, but still, he wants to just hand over the kitten to someone with a 5 year old boy who already actively hates the kitten. i refuse to give the kitten away to this family until ive seen the kitten and boy together, to make sure he wont end up hurting her. shlomi seems like he just wants to get rid of the kitty, regardless of this boy. it doesnt even make sense, because he LOVES Oreo (the cat)! it seems like hes just getting rid of her to "make a point." idk.

theres so much more going on. thats just the thing thats bothering me the most right now. idk.

he says that everything will go back to normal after we give away the kitty. i dont think thats true. i hope he is right, though, because i am SICK of being with a guy and him being perfect, and then all of a sudden one day his personality changes all over and he turns into someone who isnt right for me. (as in, this is the cycle my relationships have gone through in the past, and till now, things with shlomi have been blessedly different.) shlomi has been my best friend for years, and we have always been wonderful together, even during our most vicious arguements. this is the first time ive thought that maybe we arent right for each other, and its freaking me out.

rescuing a kitten shouldnt do this kind of sh*t. i thought we were in a healthy and balanced relationship. it doesnt seem like it anymore. hes gone from the perfect example of a human being (and i thought of him like this BEFORE i even wanted a relationship with him) to being cranky, possessive, and controlling.

do you all think this just has to do with the kitten? i dont even know whats going on anymore.... and on top of that, i am TIRED and sick of working american day-job hours in TEL AVIV! i need a new job.... and an ulpan (expedited hebrew language course)..... and a DECENT family to adopt the kitty.

ugh.

Rachie,
I seriously doubt it's the kitten. I bet it's something that's been building up for a while. It may not even be about you. Maybe he's having trouble at work? Or something may be bothering him financially. Also...has your attitude changed? A lot of times our wires get crossed and our reaction to stressful situations go like this:

-I'm tired from a hard day and my boss is an ass...
He hates animals!
-That damned cat, it's all she cares about...
I can't believe he doesn't feel the same way about this as I do!
-Why is it such a big deal? I've got bigger problems.
He's changed!
-She's changing...I'm tired of it so I'll tune it out.

I know that sounds mean, but women have a way of making a mountain out of a molehill. And when an issue isn't resolved exactly as we'd have it done, we keep digging at that molehill and don't realize that we're MAKING that mountain and pretty soon the original issue is lost. We're thinkers and we analyze things so much that we tend to create problems for ourself! (experience talking) Like, if you don't tell me what you were doing last night, I'm going to figure it up in my own head and determine that you were out drinking and gambling and flirting with hookers. lol and then we believe it!!

Why don't you just ask him if something is bothering him and what can you do to help? If he doesn't want to talk about it then don't pressure him. He'll come to you if he needs you. Men don't like people to know that they don't have everything under control.

Then drop the issue with the cat. It's stressing you both out, obviously. Find the cat a home yourself, or give it to the family and pray for the best. Bickering over something that may not even be the real issue isn't worth your relationship.

(sorry to intrude)... Hope you get things straightened out.

Nah, thanks. I really just needed to rant.

The thing is, things started to screw up right when we rescued the kitten. He was having some trouble at work (it has somewhat alleviated since then, thank GOD), and we have discussed it. For the most part, he and I have straightened things out. For now, it's just me being stressed. I am pmsing, AND I'm on little sleep because the kitten still needs night feedings, AND we need to find a *good and safe* home for her, sooner rather than later, AND I need a job that works on Israeli hours, not American ones, AND I need more money, AND I need to find a way to pay American bills overseas without having to pay like $30 to transfer funds, AND this, AND that, AND blah blah blah. It's just all been ridiculous timing.

Also, yes, he has been stressed. I do know that things will calm down once Oreo has a permanent home, but it's just been such an emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting two weeks that I don't know how much more we can take!

....on top of that, I'm coming off of a really bad month of May. My cat of 17 years died and I went off my antidepressants that month, among other things.

Honestly, me thinking that he is still acting weird (because honestly, he was last week, but we did talk about it and it seemed to be getting better) could be because I'm pmsing. We all know how that goes.

*sigh*

Anyway, I guess I just have to wait and see how it all turns out. Thanks for reading and responding. I needed someone to objectively hear me out. You know how close friends are for things like that, lol! ;)

~Rachie

whoa melissa im really curious as to who that was too!! i dont have any rants at the moment ^^ so thats good....ok well im sad cuz my best friends just went back to mexico after being an exhange student for a year and i probably wont see them again..but yeah otherwise im pretty good...miss circus..i havent sewn anything in a super long time either..bbut since its summer maybe..make stuffed animals? or start/join a swap??

i just feel completely and utterly not appreciated lately. and kinda invisible. and really lonely

I see you Heather... and I think you're awesome. ;)

We love you Heather =) I know you probably mean in real life, and there's only so much online friends can do for you, but we are here for you. You always have the Random Rants section ;)

I got back to Bristol late on Friday night, basically went straight to bed to the sounds of my parents arguing, then last night went out for a birthday celebration. It had to be a joint one with my ex boyfriend because his birthday is two days after mine, and we both wanted to do something that night and we have the same group of friends anyway, so it made it easier. Everyone was largely nice, and I couldn't believe how much I'd missed everyone, but I was still kinda feeling...left out. Tim's always been the more charismatic one out of us and I never got a word in when we were dating but he was like...stealing everyone away from me last night. Then I got drunk and started confessing to my friend about how bad I've been lately, so he decided to take me on a walk around the block to calm me down. During which he kissed me, which makes me feel like shit because I have a boyfriend and people only ever want me for sex and it's tiring. Then when we got back to the pub they said we couldn't come back in because it was too late, so we just leaned over the railing to where people were sat in the beer garden, but no one noticed we were there. Except Tim, who sent one of our friends up to say that me and Nick weren't interesting enough to bother with, so they weren't going to leave, and didn't tell anyone else that we were stuck out. Which is just so fucking vindictive. I burst into tears straight away and my friend Gaz came out so I was just sobbing against him, and then Chaz noticed where we are and when he came over, Nick started ranting on about how much of a dick Tim is and that someone should tell him how much he'd upset me, but Chaz always defends Tim and just got really arsey with Nick. I ended up just begging Gaz to take me home but I was crying all the way back.

It's just that right now I need a good support system, I need my friends and I need to feel comfortable and I'm sorry, but telling me I'm not worth bothering with and abandoning me is not what I need right now. I start my antidepressants tomorrow but they won't kick in for a few weeks, and for those few weeks I'm likely to feel worse and have high self-harming and suicidal tendencies, and considering I'm getting them now it's not going to help, and what I desperately need is to be surrounded by people who love me. Not people who care that little. And I miss Andy and I don't want to be living in this house and I can't believe I'm back for two and a half months...

Heather I love you!

no. 1. - my bff bailed on going to see eclipse at midnight...after we bought tickets...
no. 2. - i think my boy friend is mad at me but im not sure
no. 3.- i am so horribly bored im going to sign up for a summer college class
no. 4.- i dont have any friends that appreciate the punk music of good charlotte so i will not be going to a concert next month.
no. 5.- im also on my period so that makes everything else suck worse
who said summer break was gonna be awesome?

thanks ladies, i'm glad I have this fun community on CO+K but i really wish my husband would show me he loves me more