RANDOM RANTS!

Thank you so much KitKat!! It was really good to read that! I just had to write it down somewhere, I feel a lot better now! It's true, I try to understand the people around me, but sometimes I have to draw the line at some point...

pain pain go away

anyone know anything about nervous twitchs/ticks - i get really paranoid that there's well, boogeys hanging out of my nose so i itch my nose but it's aaaall the time whenever I'm in public and it's really getting to me now. It ruins every sort of social event because all i can think about is my nose and then when i itch it i get really self concious about the fact that im itching it and it might look like im picking it when obviously i'm not! it's not really a twitch or tick but its something compulsive i do that i can't shake off

QFP.....that sounds like a VERY MILD case of OCD....all I can say is look up some information about obsessive compulsive disorder....maybe that will lead you in the right path, maybe it will not. Yes...there are very mild cases and very extreme cases.

Honestly, I'm not happy with my friends. I get nervous before I see them, and I feel like I will have so much to hide when they come over for my birthday party. I just feel like they don't take me seriously (a feeling I've been getting a lot lately from everyone), and that I'm the one they all hate.

Coincidentally enough, the ones I miss the most (read: the ones who don't make me feel bad about who I am) are the ones who already have different social circles, and it's difficult to penetrate (for lack of a better word) a different social circle if you are already "in" one.

And on our Washington DC trip, I stayed with a girl I hardly talk to, and another one of my friends (not a very close one), and it was awesome. They let me be who I am, without any ridicule or anything. The only thing is, though, those girls are in different social circles so I feel like I'm stuck with friends who I like, but would be better off as friends, not CLOSE friends.

I just wish the girls who weren't my close friends, were, and the ones who are, aren't.



I just want to be taken seriously and accepted for who I am. We're all trying to find ourselves at this age, so just because I'm not finding that I'm like you, then I don't deserve to be taken seriously?

QFP - I sounds like it could be anxiety. Mind have lots of leaflets you can download for free on their website and they have self help tips. Maybe look at something like yoga or learning some deep breathing techniques so you can try and 'cut in' when you feel yourself itching your nose, you might not stop the itching but you might slow down the thinking and be able to say to yourself 'its fine' when you feel the thoughts starting.

Arty...that's right...I don't know why I didn't think of anxiety...but it could be anxiety....what led me to believe it was ocd was that she said it's starting to become an obsessive habit...but it could be anxiety!!

You could also make some biofeedback training, like a heart-rhythm training to activate the parasympatic System (to cool yourself down etc.) That probably would help in both cases...
Tics and compulsions usually come from some hyperactivity in the brain (normally frontal regions) and as far as I know there are some parallels to anxiety disorders... So whatever it is, it's probably not that serious and I'd try some relaxation-trainings like KitKat said, yoga or autogenous training or biofeedback...
Since I've read that servant-schreiber book (that instinct to heal-one) I'd really want to try the heart-rhythm training once...

Oh and Courtney, my brother is in a similar situations. That's difficult. He tries to get some distance to his friends without rejecting them. But i think you can't force anything. Just stay who you are and things might sort themselves out all on their own...

KT - OCD is an anxiety disorder so we were on the same track
I just thought anxiety as I have some similar behaviour - I pick my fingers and scratch my head or my knees. I can totally empathise with the feeling that you've got to do it (i.e. rub your nose) but once you have you think 'oh no whats everyone thinking'. I have that and think 'they must all think i've got nits or something' but it just anxiety. Also the chances are people aren't thinking 'she's picking her nose', they're probably thinking 'how long till i get paid' or 'i wish i'd washed my hair before coming out' or something equally related to themselves. Not cos everyones selfish but because people tend to all have so much on their minds that its always ticking over in the background.

To add to what Arty said....

Anxiety isn't uncommon at all....it comes at different levels....and chances are...even though you are worried about someone else noticing something...chances are they are thinking about their own things and wondering if you will notice about those things as well. Everyone has a different type of anxiety...and some are more noticeable than others.

I have super bad anxiety, especially lately. It's so bad it's bordering on agoraphobia. I'm afraid people won't like me or will make fun of me. I know deep down that these feelings aren't valid, but they're still there and they are taking over my life. It's just really lonely being me right now. I realize that people are thinking about their own troubles and not about me, but the anxiety always seems to win. There is medicine I can take, but it makes me really sleepy and I'd rather not sleep all day. It really feels like I'm losing the battle and I don't know what to do.

I'd find myself a really good therapist, I think the kind of psychotherapy is secondary, the most important thing ist that you see the therapist and immediately know: thats him/her. And I can just recommend neurofeedback... This fastens things up and you can reduce the meds or don't take them at all. And read the Servant-Schreiber-Book Though it's not especially for anxiety or something like that... It's more some general tips... but I think they're great and really helpful. And it's funny and interesting... And keep going out and among people!!! As hard as it is...

Irma...not everyone can afford therapy...

Kiddo...you need a good friend....I'm always around if you need a shoulder...I know it doesn't seem like it...and Sug is too!

Yes, most would suggest therapy...but not all can afford it.

Thanks, Irma and KT. I can't afford therapy right now because I don't have a job or insurance. Things are extremely hard right now and I hate burdening anyone with my troubles. I just couldn't hold it in much longer. I just feel really trapped right now. I know someone I could talk to that would understand where I'm coming from, but he's out of town visiting his buddies and I don't want to ruin his time. He had such a hard time leaving himself b/c of anxiety. If he knew something was wrong he would rush back here to help, but I really want him to have a good time. I feel a little better getting these things out though. Thank you both for listening.