depression

That is a good idea, Tracy.
I took Italian lessons last year, and I'm definitely going to try and get back into the class. It was the only thing I actually looked forward to back then. Now if I can just deal with my procrastination problem long enough to actually make the call
This Friday I'm also going to take my very first jewelry making workshop, I'm very excited about that!

I'm not sure about the diary though. I never manage to keep projects like that going, plus I think it's a bit scary to put things down on paper, like it's exposed for the whole world to see. Though it might help to get over that notion, of course.


So how is everyone else doing?

The jewelry making workshop sounds like fun!! Hope you enjoy it!
And about that call - pick up the receiver and dial and talk - you're wasting a LOT more energy 'stressing' about it!
The diary activity doesn't have to be written. What you could do is several times during the day ask yourself what you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. It can be a mental activity instead of a written one.

good idea Tracy, mental activity is great as well

I also suffer from severe depression. For many years.
But no one knows about it, & i'm not taking any meds (i dont really believe in meds).
I'm just trying to get my life together now, so i can get away from the people that make me more upset, so i can be happy.
Its way too hard tho, especially without no money, no job, no car, and in the rural area i live in. But i'm tryin to figure it out.
I just keep thinkin it will get better later, when i get out of here.

@Elentine: I completely understand about droppin out of a University!
I dropped out of mine too, after the first year. I completed the first year with A B & C's, but i thought it was a waste of time/money, i wasnt enjoying it at all. Plus there was too much stress, and i was completely alone & REALLY depressed. All i did was write poetry in a journal the whole time, to keep my sanity. I also lost ALL of my friends, & all the ones i met there i thought were horrible people. So i told my parents i wasnt going back. No way. I loved being on my own tho, & i miss it. But i couldnt stand it there anymore.
Now i have only one friend, & i live with my parents (who i dont get along with AT ALL). It's really bad. But i keep hoping. I'm tryin to find a job in my horrible little town ...& waiting to get away from it.
I really hated also how horrible everyone treated me after i left. Like it was the stupidest thing i ever done, & now i'm going to amount to nothing. My mother still bitches about it. Well, i believe that every person has to find thier own way in life ...& this is mine. I wasnt happy there, so now i have to find a place where i am. I hope you find yours too, & hang in there.

Everyone do things that make you happy (no matter how small). & i hope everyone feels better & has a great day. ^_^

dark ash

I understand, I live in a small town too. Have you though about starting your own busniess? I did and I feel a bit happier. I think becoming one(centered) with yourself really helps, I don't have any friends here, but it doesn't bother me. I feel happy by myself

This week I begin intensive outpatient mental health treatment. I guess I finally hit my rock bottom last week and decided it was time to work on some deeper issues that medication just can't fix. I'm super excited because I'll be getting back in a daily routine and meeting new people who have the same problems I do. I've met both my therapists and they are awesome ladies. My psychiatrist was elated that I made this decision. After I get to a stable place in my life, my goal is to advocate for others with mental illnesses. I truly believe that is my purpose in life. For once I feel like I have hope!!!

I will be blogging about my road to recovery so perhaps others can benefit from knowing that they're not alone. If you're interested, please visit my blog, <a href="http://kiddosjourney.blogspot.com">The Journey</a>, as I know although I'm excited this will be a scary time for me and I'll need all the support I can get.

Love,
Suzanne

claps, I will be with you on you way. all the best and if you need any support, I am here for you. Hugs

Good luck with it, you will get plenty of support here=)
I have a friend whose depression has been classed as treatment resistant, I'll point him at your blog to show that there are still other avenues he can try.

you shure will

i hate how my depression effects how i take care of myself. i just don't have the motivation to make myself pretty everyday. i get dressed and wash everyday but that's about it. sometimes i put on a little make up and try to style my hair if i am going out. i just don't care even though i know i would be embarrassed if someone dropped by for a surprise visit. i eat healthy and i exercise, you know i take care of myself, i just wish i felt like i deserved to feel pretty i guess that is what i am saying....

Oh...I know how you feel. I've been suffering from depression for as long as I can remember. I can't afford therapy or meds so I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have my up days and my down days. The last few days have been my down days. But I have my fiance to help...even though I feel bad shoving all my feelings on him all the time. If you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to message me. My inbox is always open. =D

Heather, you are my hero! Most days I can't even manage to take a shower let alone care about if I look good or not. I don't eat healthy or exercise. The fact that you are depressed and are still able to do those things shows what an incredibly strong person you are. You're a gorgeous woman as well.

Netty, I'm glad you have a supportive fiance. It sounds as if he really loves you, so I wouldn't worry too much about sharing your feelings with him. It makes me feel bad to share my feelings with my friends too, but I couldn't survive without them. I know they love me and just want me to be in a healthy, happy place. We're all here for you, too, if you ever need to talk. This is an amazing group of people here.

aw kiddo thanks, i do what i can but that really isn't enough- i mean i'm obese and that is not me being mean to myself, medically obese and my dr won't do anything to help me except remind me to eat better and exercise more- so yea..... with media blasting size 0 in my face all day long i don't ever really feel pretty at all. i just know i don't want to die early because of being over weight- i want to see my kids grown up and stuff- so that is why i do my best to exercise and eat healthy. but i hate exercising, even when i am doing it i count down the minutes hahaha
and i know how you guys feel about feeling bad about emotionally vomiting on your partner or friends. some friends don't stick around when you share about your mental illness and that sucks. i feel fortunate that my husband takes time to listen to me and i have 2 really good friends that check up on me. it really does help- makes me feel less alone. CO+K helps too of course

I had an awful day today, but had a lot of support from friends (most of them fellow CO+K members). However, I also isolated one of my friends in order to "protect" him today which ultimately may have resulted in me losing him. Another new "friend" who was previously unaware of my mental illness is now avoiding me. I'm a little bummed, but I'm ok with it because I'm grateful for the amazing friends I do have.

Heather, I was overweight at one point in my life and I was able to lose 50 pounds by going to Weight Watchers. I don't know if you've tried that route before, but the point system they use really works. You wouldn't even have to go to meetings if you didn't want or have the time to. Points are based on calories and fat grams. You're allotted a certain number of points a day based on your gender, weight, and age. I just know it really worked for me. I loathe exercise, but know I'd feel a lot better if I did it. I have a punching bag in my craft room that I really should put to use, but getting out of bed feels like such a chore these days so I rarely do that.

Thank you Kiddo. And my fiance is wonderful. I understand about sharing feelings with friends. My friend talks to me and shares her feelings with me...but when I try to do the same with her she ignores me or changes the subject. And thank you. I want to say the same for you. I'm here if you ever need to talk. And you're right...this is an amazing group of people. =D

And Heather...don't worry about the size 0. I'm rather chunky myself. But you're beautiful. Remember that.