Courtney Couture
Yeah, and I suppose I need to find better friends. But I feel so bad leaving my other friends 
I feel as if I've let them down, and not the other way around.
Posts by Courtney Couture
The skirt I'm making is turning out so nice and fits me awesome and I love it!
And besides, when I eat I'd gain the weight and then some back.
Ugh, I just hatehatehate how I look more than ANYTHING. Like, literal loathing. And I ALWAYS am thinking about either food/my weight/how I look. It needs to stop right now :S
Also, I get these bouts of depression a lot lately...like, anywhere from an hour to a day.
:| Too many problems
It makes me sick too...white picket fence, 2.5 adorable children, apple pie, watching your kid's football games every sunday...yuck. (wow, I just described my aunt and uncle, haha).
I don't really want children :/ if I do, I'll adopt.
But, I'm 13. So maybe that'll change
Food is good...but ugh I just wanna be skinny so badly its irrational and ridiculous and when I don't eat I just get this illusion like this is what skinny people do and my health doesn't even matter to me, all I want is to be thin.
I'm ridiculous :S
Happy stuff...hmmm....
I'm leaving for NY in 2 weeks to see Chicago!! The songs have been stuck in my head for the past 2 days I'm so excited!
Yeah, I just need to start talking with the nicer girls
UGH!! It's going to cost 80 dollars and 2 weeks to fix the timing (which is a really small problem, btw) on my sewing machine I had all these projects lined up and now I have to hand-sew them all...it's gonna take forever
I can't stop thinking about food, either. It's constantly on my mind. Always. Like, even in school or when I'm with friends or anything. I'm always thinking about food and my weight and when I'm hungry I feel so good about myself because I'm not eating, I keep track of how many hours in between meals and the longer the time it is, the better I feel.
Honestly, I'm not happy with my friends. I get nervous before I see them, and I feel like I will have so much to hide when they come over for my birthday party. I just feel like they don't take me seriously (a feeling I've been getting a lot lately from everyone), and that I'm the one they all hate.
Coincidentally enough, the ones I miss the most (read: the ones who don't make me feel bad about who I am) are the ones who already have different social circles, and it's difficult to penetrate (for lack of a better word) a different social circle if you are already "in" one.
And on our Washington DC trip, I stayed with a girl I hardly talk to, and another one of my friends (not a very close one), and it was awesome. They let me be who I am, without any ridicule or anything. The only thing is, though, those girls are in different social circles so I feel like I'm stuck with friends who I like, but would be better off as friends, not CLOSE friends.
I just wish the girls who weren't my close friends, were, and the ones who are, aren't.
I just want to be taken seriously and accepted for who I am. We're all trying to find ourselves at this age, so just because I'm not finding that I'm like you, then I don't deserve to be taken seriously?
Okay, so I got all the parts that I needed for my sewing machine, put everything in, threaded it, and....the bobbin thread won't raise. :|
GAH
I've tried everything everything I tell you! And it still won't work
I know, I get in trouble if I don't finish all my chores, while my brother just sits and watches TV. Like, today, this is what I did.
1. Vacuum my moms room
2. Change the cat litter
3. Do laundry
4. Clean my room
5. Finish mowing (originally my brothers job)
6. Sweep the kitchen
Which isn't really that much, but then when I do that much and sometimes more everyday its just ridiculous. The only thing I didn't do that I usually do is get the dog fresh water, and the only reason I didn't do that is because I yelled at my brother long enough for him to do that.
I just hate that my brother is SO LAZY then expects to get everything he wants, while I'm doing all the work.
But hey, more exercise for me! I'll be skinny earlier than I expected 
Ice cream is good!
UGH! I am fine with doing a lot of chores around the house because it keeps me busy and not sitting around all day, but I really wish that my brother would at least try to help out and take care of his dog.
Gypsie!! Thats terrible!!
I would be so mad, too!!
:O interstellar that sucks!!
I've been busy, but that's good because otherwise I'd just be sitting watching TV all day...
Butterfly Night, that sucks D: I broke out before my formal dance too...