MEN!

i love my bf to bits, but he is such a doormat!

the other day he said that his awful ex forced him to unblock her on MSN, i could've screamed~

oh please, I would say get a backbone

and god, that would be fustrating

Heeey, I'm bringing this back. I think I need to.

My boyfriend is driving me crazy. We always end up arguing about these stupid little things but he just takes it way too far and starts yelling at me and throwing stuff around. I'm not trying to say that it's an abusive relationship or anything, but I'm just getting so, so tired of him saying really vicious things to me in the heat of the argument. I always go to a lot of effort to bite my tongue and not say anything personal in an argument because I know I love him and I don't want to say anything I'll regret, but he's just so cutting! Like last night he was yelling at me because I didn't particularly want to watch wrestling, and he said that he wished I didn't hang around with him all the time, which obviously really upset me, especially as I'm leaving for uni soon and terrified about living so far away from him. And now he's flitting between saying he didn't say that, and saying that he didn't mean it but he dos this EVERY time and he can't expect to say that all his friends hate me and make everything okay the next day by going "Oh I just said that because I was angry."

This is just killing me. I'm leaving next Saturday and I need to know that he loves me when he's not there to kiss me and hug me himself, and right now he's making me feel so insecure and vulnerable.

maybe he is scared that you will leave him, bexause you are going away, and might meet someone new. Did you tell him that these fights hurt you?

I know this sounds really dumb....but....my mom brought up something that my dad used to do to her when we were talking about my sister's marriage. Guys will pick a fight with you when they want to do something but you don't want to, just so in the end you say "fine, go do (whatever it is they want)" and they get their way. Mom says she just gave up and decided...sure if your father wants to go out and have a couple drinks...fine by me, because i'd rather he went than tried to pick a silly fight with me. I never really saw men like that...but once she said something...I was like...WHOA they totally do that. So KK...he might have been just upset, because he feels like he can't do the things he wants to do while he's with you. Yet, he may be struggling at telling you he really wants to do stuff with you, just not the girly stuff you might want to do. Sounds like you're going to be missed.

My boyfriend is an ass. I mean, we're only freshmen, its not like we're in a SERIOUS relationship. We're still young, you know? He takes everything way too seriously. I don't even know if I really like him that way, he's just cute and sweet, and I like him, we're not married! Like today I was talking to my friend, and she was talking about a cute guy and I said "Yeah, he's adorable!" and it turned into some HUGE thing. He was like "blah blah you don't love me!" and I was like "No, I don't. We've only been going out for like 3 weeks, I like you a lot, but I don't love you. Just being honest." and then he said some mean insulting words and left. And I had to walk home alone which sucked

Thanks guys. I was trying to talk to someone the other night and he just kept telling me the usual "You could do better, dump him" thing which isn't what I want to hear so not at all helpful.

I have told him how much they hurt me, but the problem is if he just says that he didn't mean it then if I bring it up again I'm suddenly in the wrong for starting the argument again. But I want to talk about the things that upset me...

The problem is, we do a lot of stuff together and have a lot in common, but I've also had to deal with a lot - especially if his friend is round, all they'll do is play Fifa, watch wrestling and play with their Magic cards. And they both constantly interrupt me and talk over me. But that's fine, I get it, I'm outvoted. But if it's just me and him, it'd be nice if we did something we both liked.

Maybe you guys should explore something outside of the house....something you don't do often...miniature golf or something? Get away from the typical things and go out and do something new. You'll learn more about each other...and you won't feel as much like you are constantly around eachother or stuck doing the same thing all the time. Having a lot in common is nice, but sometimes doing what you want to do is important to. That includes having time away from one another. I know it's not easy, but having differences gives you things to share between eachother. It makes it so you are more likely to talk about life, than be stuck doing the same thing over and over. I don't know if I'm making any sense....

Maybe you should do some things on your own and show him that you can be perfectly happy without him and you don't need him... Then he'll probably come himself and make an effort because he'll see that you're not depending on him that much and if he wants to keep you, he has to work on the relationship too...
It seems to me, that he maybe takes you for granted, because I guess, like you're telling here, you keep telling him, that you don't want to leave him... (at least that was what i did with my boyfriend, when i was pretty desperate... that was the worst thing to do... I waited for him to change, and tried to do everything to make it easy for him, and in the meantime i changed from a selfconfident woman into an insecure and "devoted" one, and that finally wasn't what he wanted... so he had no more reason to try to change anything...)
So just look that you're doing fine on your own, and he'll probably change...

But me too I can imagine that he's worried about you leaving for uni...

yes, I think its important to stay true to yourself...I still think we may be worried, but a stong relationship can last. I should know, I had a three year long distance relationship, we only saw each other a few times a year. But our devotion to ourselfs keep us going, but at the end of it, we knew that it would be hard(I lived in Canada, he lived in Ireland) and we deciced to split up and remain friends. We are still great friends 5 years later

I'd love to do more stuff on my own...but I've become pretty good friends with his friends, and if I meet up with them without him he gets annoyed. And if I try to talk to him about something that I did on my own, he basically tells me to shut up. He's gotten into the habit recently of just interrupting me mid-sentence and going "okay..?" like he's saying "why should I be interested?" and it knocks me down every time. The problem is, I think he's trying to make me break up with him. Which sounds stupid but I know he does that with girls he's lost interest in - just treats them like crap until they're forced to leave him. He just doesn't listen to me anymore, he's stopped cuddling me at night, he doesn't really kiss me or tell me he loves me anymore, and (sorry if this makes anyone awkward) but we only have sex like once a month. And he's even stopped putting any effort into that. Which is nowhere near enough. We went to London this weekend and he spent the whole time putting me down, telling me I'd done something wrong or making fun of me. He's also started mocking my weight, which is something he promised never to do. I dunno, maybe he is just worried about me leaving, but he's making things worse.

Wow. It sounds like he's trying to guard himself from emotions by putting you down. I know guys that are afraid to feel what they feel...so they try to bury it. I'm sorry you are going through this KK! It doesn't sound healthy at all. Maybe you should just ask him if he feels scared or if he feels like you don't want to be around him. Like...be like do you feel...

I know...maybe I should try...I can't really explain it on here without sounding like I'm being unfair to him, but he just doesn't talk about stuff. If I ask him what's wrong he'll just stare at me. And if I think something is wrong in our relationship, he'll say it's not wrong with us, it's wrong with me and then that's the end of it. I just wish he wasn't doing this seventeen months in.

Just don't nag too much, he might be afraid of hurting your feelings. You might just have to ask him if he feels a certain way at the right time...and then maybe the emotions will start to come out.