I have literlly no experience with guys, so Help!!

wel just tell him that you are only interested in him as a friend. If he realy likes you then he won't push you to do anything you don't like. Also is he way older then you? Because you said was a Bully in High school. If you are in high school and he isn't(for example he is 18-19), maybe you shouldn't be hanging out with him.

he is way too old then and I think your mom may not like it either.

But you seem to know what you want, if you are not interested in those guys who have crushes on you and asked you out, its ok. But one of these days you will meet someone you do like and likes the same things you like.

But about this guy, weigh the prons and the cons.

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7 replies since 18th January 2011 • Last reply 18th January 2011

Reply #1:

I made the decision when I was 14 that I didn't want to have sex until I was out of high school- I also come from a family of addicts so drugs were never appealing to me. Of course most kids in high school do experiment with drugs and sex.

For me being around people who did drugs outside of school wasn't how I wanted to spend my time. So while I had crushes on a few guys who did partake in that activity I made the choice that those guys weren't really for me.

I did however date a lot in high school and I was very upfront with the guys that I dated that I wasn't interested in having sex. Most of them respected that choice but decided I wasn't the girl for them. And knowing that assured me that I was making the right choice- because the guy that I would eventually have sex with would be worth it- and trust me he really was.

You seem to hold very good values and respect yourself which is a really good thing. Not a lot of teenagers do anymore. It’s a difficult choice to make when in high school but one I felt in the long run was well worth it. And looking back- a lot of my friends who didn't respect themselves in high school, really regretted it and have told me they wished they had held out like I had.

I made a lot of tough decisions in high school in regards to who I would date and who I wouldn't- based on my own personal values and self-respect. Don't ever compromise your self-respect because when all is said and done- being able to respect yourself is going to make you a better, healthier and happier person.

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Reply #2:

I don't think you really like this guy for who he is. He sounds like a bully, who doesn't show respect, and has a very different viewpoint on both sex and drugs. The fact that your list of reasons NOT to like him outweighs the reasons to like him shows your own hesitation. If you ever have doubts about furthering a relationship then you probably shouldn't. I respect your decision to wait to have sex. I saved myself for my husband and that is one of the best decisions I have ever made. People rarely regret not having sex. If a guy is really interested in you he won't try to push you into anything you don't want to do.

Just because a guy can "make me laugh, and feel special" does not mean he is a good candidate for dating. Every guy can make a girl feel this way when he wants to. If he doesn't show the same respect to other people that he does to you when he is flirting I would suggest staying away from him. Guys/people like him are manipulators, that put on a mask when they want something. He may someday be a nice guy but it sounds like right now he needs to mature before you consider dating him.

My dad always told me "If you play in the mud your going to get a little dirty" So don't think you can "fix" this guy without getting involved in whatever he is doing. Take care of yourself, it is possible to be happy without a guy and almost impossible to be happy with one, when you are not happy with yourself. There are plenty of nice respectful boys your age, so don't wait for this guy to change, find a guy you don't need to "work on". A good indicator of how a guy will treat you is how he treats his mother. Have fun and trust your instincts.

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Reply #3:

Thank you all so much for your help. I feel so much better now that i can hear other peoples opinions. I think Ive been trying to tell myself that all a long. I feel better knowing Im not the only one to think that.

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Reply #4:

Just remember you should never feel obligated to like a guy. Or even guilty that you don't. Women should always take advantage of their freedom to choose what men they become involved in. Once you get stuck in a horrible relationship it is harder to exercise that strength.

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Reply #5:

thats true, thank you.

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Reply #6:

hope we helped

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Reply #7:

Guys are confusing. You could offer a nutral hang out zone, such as a mall, or very public park, or coffee shop, and just speak with him, if he's unintrested during that time he's not the guy for you.

It takes time to really know a person and those are the best types of people to date.

I dated a guy that I kenw did drugs in highschool. He told me that he was over the drugs and didn't want to do them anymore. He and I dated for a short while and got married. I found out a year later that he was still on drugs and stealing from me to supply his habbit. When confronted he made it all about me and how I was a cold heart and he had to do drugs to make up for my lack of caring.

I did NOTHING wrong other than rushing into a relationship.

Never rush a relationship, it leads to bad things.

ps I'm now re married to a wonderful man that loves me and respects me.

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