Overwhelmed and unsure

So I really just need to get this off my chest. I have recently started school, this is my second go at college, I dropped out the first time. I am a full time student, and all my classes are online, which I have never done before now. I also have a job, and due to everyone quitting at the same time, I am working 30+ hours a week. I'm feeling very overwhelmed, and I'm beginning to think school was a bad idea. To make matters worse, I live with my mom and 20 year old brother. He is also doing online classes. The thing is, my mother has held his hand the entire time, while I have yet to receive an iota of help. I don't want any help, I'm a big girl, but I'm kind of tired of hearing my mom complain about how expensive his books and stuff are, when she refuses to make him get a job. My boyfriend is supportive to a point, but he is bipolar and in the process of applying for disability, and has basically told me he has his own problems to deal with. I'm sorry to go on and on, but I feel really overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. I can't quit my job, and I really don't want to quit school, but maybe it was a bad idea. I don't have anyone to talk to, I don't really have any friends other than my boyfriend. Thanks for listening.

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3 replies since 5th September 2011 • Last reply 5th September 2011

Reply #1:

Ahh school is scary! lol Thats how I feel, I did one summer semester at a university and failed horribly, lol. Which put me off school, because I have always excelled in class. Lucily I got married and have been moving around the states ever since. I know I'll have to go back to school, but man an I scared :S I hate failing and wasting money on classes too. So I totally understand your being overwhelmed with class. And online too. If class has just started maybe you just need a bit of time to get in to the swing of things, balancing work and school ya know. Hopefully things will get easier for you! Best of luck!!!! <3

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Reply #2:

First of all, you have made a commitment to yourself to take these classes, so don't cheat yourself by backing down from school. Instead tell your boss you simply can't work 30 hours a week due to classes. They may be online but that hardly means they take up less time. If everyone at your work is quitting, your boss is going to want to accommodate you to get you to stay.

Next, you need to stop stressing about your mom. I suspect if she is talking to you about the burden of paying for your brother’s college it’s not meant in a mean way. More than likely she is trying to confide in you and you should consider it an open invitation for you to confide in her about how stressed you are about going back to school.

Third of all I really suggest you get out of your closeted life and live a little. You should seriously consider taking classes on campus next semester. If you’re dependent on your boyfriend for company than you are in a bad position and it will make you miserable later down the road.

Finally I have to say this- what on earth is wrong with your boyfriend that he thinks it’s OK for him to go onto disability for bipolar disorder? He needs to go on his medication and stop letting it be an excuse. My boyfriend is also bipolar and he’s worked full time since he was 16 years old. He currently is a manager at his job working 12 hour days 6 days a week and clearly he’s able to put his disorder into prospective enough to know that it does not weaken him or make him less able than anyone else to take care of himself.

I hope things get better for you but unless you are willing to take charge of your life and decide where it will lead you rather than sitting back and letting things fall apart then it isn't likely to happen.

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Reply #3:

I tried a 10week course online, got a bit ahead of the "teaching", online was distracting, forgot about it after 2 weeks and failed the course. a waste of money for me. i went back to the classroom. dropped out of the first uni i went to, then went back to the college i loved and did a uni course there. i dont have the mental capacity to be able to work and do my course at the same time (and see me fiancé who lives a couple of hours away).
its not fair, nor is it easy but once it is over it is something i will probably never have to do again and i will come out of it all with a degree, somewhere to move out to, a better job (or so they say)

i agree with pinkweeds completely, and dont be dependant on your bf for company. my fiance is the only person i see regularly because i cant afford to go see my friends, which is about 1/4 of a tank of petrol each time, same as for fiance, but i put him first as i know he will be there for me and we have never argued or stopped talking to each other whereas my friends and i have.

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