Are We Crazy?

or another idea (in the opposite direction) is to 'test' living like you're married, ie joint bank accounts, living together,bills in your joint names...basically having to do the boring day to day stuff a marriage would entail. You'll be surpried how quickly the 'honeymoon period' so to speak, is over with.Not to say it's boring but you have other things to think about instead of going out for a date etc.
I've been with my partner for 6 years, met him when i was 17 and he was 22,we moved in after only 3months together! and i honestly think that for us this was the best way to really get to know each other. There's no hiding ANYTHING when you're living together, you learn all their bad habits etc.

or another idea (in the opposite direction) is to 'test' living like you're married, ie joint bank accounts, living together,bills in your joint names...basically having to do the boring day to day stuff a marriage would entail. You'll be surpried how quickly the 'honeymoon period' so to speak, is over with.Not to say it's boring but you have other things to think about instead of going out for a date etc.
I've been with my partner for 6 years, met him when i was 17 and he was 22,we moved in after only 3months together! and i honestly think that for us this was the best way to really get to know each other. There's no hiding ANYTHING when you're living together, you learn all their bad habits etc.

no, you are not crazy. but marriage is work- let's be straight about that. i met my husband when we were 16, we were engaged at 18 and married at 20. by that time he had been in the service for a little while and i had a degree. many people thought we were too young but we were ready. we had a long distance sort of engagement and we did a lot of changing, we are still changing now. trying to figure out who we really are. but we do that growing and changing together- some people need to do that by themselves. if i were you I would wait a few years- you can still be together!

claire has a good idea, once you graduate from school, find a apratment, a job, pay bills, get groceries, clean up after each other. Get to know each other, dating a person is one thing, living with them, another story.

Michelle, I can't do that because of my parents. They're extremely religious and believe if you live with someone before you're married you're going to hell. Plus they're forcing me to go to university in England and I have to go stay on campus. They're doing that on purpose to try to break me and my boyfriend up

I don't think you are seeing the big picture. Personally, if my parents wanted to send me to university in England I'd jump for it. That's a pretty awesome opportunity and would be silly to pass up. Are you afraid that your boyfriend will stop loving you if you guys are apart for a few years? Or that you will? If its real love then you going away to school for a few years wont hurt the relationship, if anything it will make it stronger. Stop being so angry at your parents, they are doing what is they think is best for you and since they've raised you, don't you think you should trust them to see the whole picture that you probably aren't seeing? Your parents love you, they loved you way before your boyfriend did and they haven't stopped loving you just because you ridicule them, push them away and are blaming them for whatever you think they are doing to ruin your happiness. They've watched you grow up, they've believed in you when you didn't believe in yourself. They've pushed you to do things by yourself, taught you to tie your shoes and ride a bike. Have a little more faith in them and stop thinking of them as the enemy.

Further to what PinkWeeds said- once you are married, not letting compromise turn into a war is even more important! And it's a skill that develops over time- living on your own for a while (I am a Christian) is equally valuable as preparation for marriage as it's experience of surviving day-to-day grinds without that 'power struggle' with parents/kids. Going right from that power struggle situation to marriage has risks- for example, what to do if your spouse is self employed and you want to buy a property in a certain area that's too expensive to get on your current income: coming from a 'status' battle angle, it's 'you're FORCING me to live somewhere with poor facilities' V 'you're FORCING me to give up my business and work for the man'... what do you end up with? Rowing and fuss and no solution. Instead it should be that both partners understand what's most important and accept that sometimes there's a pretty big compromise to be made: but it isn't a 'win/lose' or 'forcing/resisting' situation (that's when resentment starts). This is something my husband and I have to be very aware of, even as old bods, I can't imagine how hard it would be to negotiate and compromise straight out of a parent/child home relationship (where- healthily- the psychological development is to fight percieved control- that enables you to be a free adult eventually). After a few years of being an adult, it's easier to negotiate without seeing 'control' and 'fighting' it (or becoming passive and a child-like-trophy-bride I have some old bod friends like that too and it's not healthy either).

Yes! Thank you for saying that Squizita because its so important and so forgotten in today's society because we no longer have arranged marriage as the norm nor do most people marry based off of social status and personal wealth/gain. Most people don't know that when girls marry at a young age they are generally "groomed" to be the wife of their husband. Its a harsh way to live for a thinking and independent person. It's Elizabeth Smart, Pricilla Presley and every 13 year old girl married during the Middle Ages all over again. It's freaking Elizabeth Bathory- she learned cruelty and blood lust from her husband.

I actually know a few people who this happened to. They married young to a man who groomed them to their ideal or to do things that are against what the girl personally believed in or wanted.

I was groomed to be a trophy wife. I'm currently living a real life with no idea how to do it--and my parents don't understand what's wrong with me.

Anyway. Now that I have that out of the way....

Shlomi and I met in 2004, and were friends for years. We decided to give a relationship a try, and were long-distance for about half of our relationship so far. Trust me--if he really is the one, it won't be so difficult, and you might even find that you enjoy your time in England. (lucky!!!)

Besides, your parents can't really force you to stay on campus if they're in another country; they can't FORCE you to do much of anything. Additionally, it's not like they have any control over whether or not your boyfriend comes to visit you for the holidays.

I do advise to take what the others said into consideration, and try to see this from your parents' point of view. In the end, if this relationship is meant to last, it will last--and your parents will see that. It will also encourage you to see it.

Don't think of England as bad. Think of it as an AWESOME opportunity for you, and a strengthening opportunity for your relationship.

Oh--and if you somehow decline this whole college thing, ask your parents if they're cool with paying off my student loans instead. ;)

Going away and learning to live on your own is probably the absolute best thing you can do. If things are meant to be, the two of you will find a way to make it work, and in the meantime you'll get a better handle on who you are and what you're capable of on your own, which can only help to make both you stronger people and bring more skills to the table as individuals- if you plan on having kids than each of you needs to be completely capable on your own... I'm not that far off from the age you are now and I can tell you that in the 3yrs since I graduated from high school I have changed so much as a person, learned so much, and become so much more confident in my own abilities- things that only happened because I went off to school, lived away from home for a while, and got a job. I know what it's like to be planning your future and to be in love like that, and I would never call you crazy for it. However, the one thing my parents got so very right is that in order to be at your best in a relationship you have to know how to be yourself and live on your own. Take a little more time. Go to school. Get an apartment, get a job. The future isn't going anywhere, and if he's who your meant to be with you've got the rest of your lives together. So, try and do what I try and do- smile when you think about that fact, enjoy what you're doing now, get all the skills, training and experiences you can at the moment, and get your plans in place so that when you're able to tie the knot however many years down the road that may be, nothing'll stand in your way.
Best luck, S.

Personally, I think you are far too young to be engaged. I'm 17, I've been in love, I've dated my fair share of guys, and wanted to get married to one of them, but, in the end, we're young. Plus, you're parents do know what you're going through, you don't think they've been in love like you and your boyfriend are?
Your parents want the best for you, and though you can't see that now, and you think they've doing all this to keep you and your boyfriend from being together, they might be doing it because they know whats best.

As far as being crazy, no, I don't think you guys are.