The Most Annoying Things to you that nobody ever takes into consideration...?

Hi Nora C
Merry Meet

I totally agree that everyone has the right to be individual. The world would be very boring otherwise. I live in a very multicultural community where there's always a celebration going on with an excuse to join in, sharing food and time with neighbours. We have Eid (Muslim), Depwali (Hindu), Christmas (Christian) and this week was Imbolc (Pagan) a time of returning to life after the long dark days. It's a good time to start new projects and renew commitments to principles we hold dear.

I too have been approached because of the way I was dressed. I was walking my daughter's friend home (who was 13 at the time) through a park and was verbally abused and we had bottles thrown at us by a group of about 10 older teenage girls and boys. They chased us through the estate. Luckily she didn't live too far away. This wasn't long after Sophie had died. Sophie was a Whitby regular for the goth weekends. There's a bench dedicated to her memory by the whale bones with a plaque which reads 'An Angel Too Soon'

The Sophie foundation raises funds to educate people about tolerance and is campaigning for the law to include sub culture abuse as a hate crime. Sophie's mum has been on government panels to raise awareness of the issues. The money raise goes to futher this cause.

It saddens me to know I live in a world where there are evil people who choose violence and then brag about it like a badge of honour

Peace & Blessings

My boyfriend is black, I am white. We have been together 2 years now.

We have both experienced racial prejudice from both the black and white communities.

Surely it doesn't matter what colour we are? We both work, both have our own places to live, we are both law abiding citizens and we are madly in love.

Why should it matter to some people that we have different colour skin.

I happen to think that he is gorgeously handsome, his skin is amazingly soft and he has lovely muscles, but I don't look at him and think he is different.
He tells me I am beautiful and smart, he loves my curves and complains that my skin is dry (lol). But he doesn't look at me and think I am different.

I was raised in a strange environment, my Dad was a Hell's Angel and my house was always filled with hairy bikers. I was taught never to judge someone from their outer appearance. After all, there are good and bad in all walks of life, and you never know just how good and special a friend you might pass up just because they look different or are NOT NORMAL.

It's all ridiculous, we are all human, we all bleed the same.

If the human race remembered that they should treat others as they expect to be treated themselves, then this World would be a nicer place.

Sorry, rant and ramble over

=)

K/x

i get really annoyed when ppl all seem 2 automatically think im on drugs bc i have severe tourettes and my tics are in my neck so it looks like im constantly popping my neck but really really hard so i have gotten countless times hey what r u on or worse is when they stare which makes it even worse bc u know they r staring bc of that and also the ppl that talk crap bc u have tod them pls dont come up behind me it scares me bc i have ptsd slightly and i live in texas so its just like kiddo said everyone wants 2 b right in ur space supper friendly and it gets bad my fatherin law came up behind me one day and grabbed my shoulders and doesnt understand i cant help it when i freak bc u dont wanna have 2 tell them i have ptsd bc i have been almost raped or molested or just the fact that even tough ppl can have sensitive emotional problems

Essex debs makes really great points. Judgements do go both ways: I have in the past been misjudged as 'shallow' etc' by cliques of people who would probably deny being a clique and say that they are unique ... but if there are 10 people ALL in alt gear, all with similar hairstyles, all with piercings and are assuming the street/sportwear girl on her own is an idiot because she is different... as far as I am concerned that's a clique. Back in the 90s I had real issues at uni and work because I don't look like a 'right on yoof worker' stereotype (or some would say don't feel the need to dress as people expect me to) from some people at uni and work, it bordered on bullying but again the assumption would be the 'London co-ca-nee gal' would stick up for herself and the 'hippies'/'goths' must be lovely gentle people and always misunderstood.

Cliques and judgements are just different depending on the situation- unfortunately in every group there will be people who prejudge people unfairly.

OOh. And don't get me started with people who think they understand someone's ethnicity from their face, hair or one or two facts misheard... I'm mixed race Irish/Asian. I've had every ignorant comment from the assumption that I must know IRA people to being told that my 'poor downtrodden' grandmother (erm, she was anything but a dorrmat believe me) must have been forced to marry my grandfather (because one was white and a man and one asian, therefore it couldn't be without opression) - which ironically is incredibly racist/sexist towards both of them. But the (and i'm not saying all white, middle class, left wing students think this) very sheltered-but-desperately-PC student thought they were being really right-on and PC, when they were repeating vulgur ideas into a stereotype. Actually, mixed marriages happen, folk!

I get what you all are saying. It's amazing how people judge you just by the way you look, and the sucky part is that no matter where you go, there'll always be stereotypes and if you don't fit in then you are a weirdo.
THe same thing as Violetta happened to me with the piercings, and I also have three tattoos so that really made people talk. And one thing that happens to me A LOT and I hate it is that people here, from Costa Rica aren't that tall, or that skinny, and I'm really tall and really skinny. So since I'm skinny I have to be bulimic or anorexic, there is no other choice! I can't just be thin because it's in my genes, that just doesn't happen right? that really pisses me off, and at school my classmates made me feel so bad about being tall that now I don't even dare use a pair of high heels, even though I', not really that tall! I'm just taller than the average person here.
Anyways, that was just my experience, but from what I've learned through my life I've come to believe that it doesn't matter where you are or who you are with people will usually ALWAYS bother you, judge you, or mock you, the thing is that we have to feel comfortable in our skin with who we are. If we feel comfortable there is no reason why those arguments should annoy us, people just aren't used to what's different.
Sometimes it's not their fault that they are so close minded.

One of the main things that people don't seem to understand about me is my weight. I'm 5'4" and weigh about 205 lbs. So they automatically assume "oh, she must sit on her ass all day and eat potato chips and ice cream!!" It just bugs me because nobody ever considers "hmm, maybe she was raised by a poor family who couldn't afford much other than free bowling-alley burgers and fries because the mom worked there! Maybe she's got a disease that causes hormone irregulation and makes it next-to-impossible for her to lose weight! Maybe she's been anorexic, bulhemic, and all of that, and maybe, just maybe, all of these comments I'm making about her weight have helped lead to her crying herself to sleep every night, and contemplating suicide!"

It annoys me how nobody can take others' personal situations into account ever.

Also, people think I'm a druggie (I'm straight edge) and a slut (I'm not). I'm not really sure why for either.

My town draws motorcyclist from all over the country. A good half of them are doctor-bikers; guys who pull out the cruiser on the weekend to "get away from it all." A smaller percentage of the bikers here are actual motorcycle gang members. I have tattoos all up both legs and a quarter-sleeve. I have piercings all over and have a proclivity for wearing black (black hides the un-slim parts of one's body, right?!) So, obviously, the way I look means that I am not only a motorcycle gang member, but that I must know where to get drugs and I must be a "loose" woman. Funny. I'm a 4.0 GPA college student. I own my own business. I don't do drugs and the last time I rode a motorcycle, I toppled over in the dirt and haven't ridden since!! Grrr. Stereotypes get old.

I decided a long time ago that I was going to do something to change how people might see folks who look like me. I volunteer. I help out when I can. I figure, if I can change one person's mind about a stereotype, then I've changed the world.

hey Jess j ignore them girl ive been teased since i was six if you weren't heavy they would just find something else don't ever hurt yourself because of what someone else says about your appearance please yourself if you are happy with you then who cares what they think and if you aren't happy you are the only one who can bring a positive change don't let them hurt you , and to everyone else there really are a LOT of stupid people out there lets all feel sorry for them

People calling me "Suzy Homemaker" and the like just because I sew.

Um, no.

The problem with humans in general is we tend to dislike anything that's different. So you have the disgusting racism towards people of a different colour, who are "obviously" different to white people. Then the differences get sliced thinner and thinner, until it's religion/hair colour/football team and clothing and it's all offensive if you are the offended party.

I am white and Irish and had plenty of crap thrown my way, mostly by English people. Of course they laugh all the slagging off, sure we're all best buds right? But still, I know plenty more NICE and good English people then I do bad ones. Unfortunately the bad people are usually the ones who are the loudest voices.

Also, for the record, I have never heard an Irish person say "top of the morning", so... just so you know ;D I have actually had someone say that to me, thinking he was hilarious!

I agree with Northern star about the degrees of differences. It reminds me so much of my daughter, then aged 6, came back from school and told me a story her teacher had told her class. It goes something like this:-

There were a group of black elephants that lived deep in the dark forest and a group of white elephants that lived out on the plains. They were always fearful of each other. Over time they got to know each other and became friends. The black elephants stopped hiding in the woods and the white elephants moved closer to it's edge. Before long they joined and their children became grey elephants. Now you would think this was perfect..........except the big eared ones started looking at the little eared ones in a funny way

A childs story with a great lesson for all of us?

Shelia it's always great to bump into you in threads :0) Great story
I'm off to a conference next week called "Dialoguing Difference 2nd Conference" I attended last year as a guest of a friend who had just graduated from University of Washington.It is organized by the Women of Colour collective.The theme this year will be Technology of Visibility.Will raise my blood pressure in places but is always worth attending.
I have just seem Caroline Lucas win the first green seat in a UK parliament.20 years ago when I first lived in Oxford I used to volunteer at Oxfam.I collated press cuttings for Caroline and the press team.
She left the press office to focus on developing her political career really pleased to see she has been so successful.Just shows you never know who will cross your path and the influence they will have on people.

Hi Debs..I saw Caroline Lucas's win as it was televised and was wooping. Lucky my hubby sleeps heavily and my daughter was having a sleep over at her friends. My friend at work is the leader of a womens collective that raises issues of inclusiveness in the work place. She's West Indian in origin and has come across a lot of cultural blocks generally. I remember when I was training in engineering they didn't have a female student toilet! Thank goodness some things have improved. It was so good to see Caroline getting recognition for her efforts. A strong determined woman getting a chance to make a difference. An inspiration to all of us. Have a great time at conference and remember to have a bit of chill out time too

I get annoyed most by: (and this isn't really about personal appearance or anything)

If I'm driving safely (when you grow up and have to start paying for your own car, insurance, etc...and have a BABY on board you drive safer) and someone honks the horn because I'm going the speed limit. Or flips me off because I looked both ways before turning into traffic...or throws their hands up like they are just SO put out by having to wait an extra 2 seconds...

That really hurts my feelings. I don't know why, but sometimes it really makes me cry. I'm like, why are you so mad at me?!! I'm a softy.

I don't really worry much about being picked on for who I am. I felt the usual pressures when I was in school, but now I just do my thing. I try to always be happy and love everyone regardless of who they are, and I think it's rubbed off on the people I meet. No one really makes fun of me. But then again I'm pretty bland and boring. lol I don't even wear make up and I'm usually in a tiedye shirt. Plus this is SE Georgia. Most people round here are pretty nice. (most)