first kiss?

why should you overthink everything you do?
okay, sometimes it's better to think about things, but sometimes you have to let it all go.

because if you don't , you'll get more people bugging you. some things i don't think abput at all. others i usually get paranoid about, so i start worrying.
and i overworry about the most stupid things. i also overreact.
i do let things go...but it really depends what it is.
and i screw up often, so i sometimes have to think less about some things, and more about others.

(suzi, you know this story a little)
there was a guy, 2 years ago. and he was like I want to kiss you, but I didn't feel like, so we diddn't kiss.
and after my holiday (I met him on my holiday) I tought it was stupid not to kiss him, and so I felt stupid, and thought about how it all went we I kissed him.
so I was too much thinking about him, it made me feel wrong, and obsessed.
but now I'm over it. finally :')

but yea. I learned that I never ever have to think about how stupid I was to do something or not. you can't change the past.

true, true. but you can learn from it.
oh, i was told suzi is crazy by D.
again. i asked him to make up something new, i'm getting bored.

today,a new thing happened: i actualy had a reasonably normal conversation with D.
i walked out of school, before i got out to get my bike i ran into my brother and a couple of his friends. i saw D. walking far in front of me.
so when i got to my bike, he was standing there getting his bike. i wished him a nice weekend.
me: hey, have a nice weekend.
D.: yeah, you too. was the guy in school your brother?
me: which one? the one with the dark, short hair and the dark eyes? that apparently looks kinda like me?
D.: yeah.
me: oh, yeah he's my brother.
D. : i didn't expect that.
me: well, he's always been the most succeeding one.
D.: i don't think so.
me: thanks. *smiles* have a nice weekend
me:*walks to bike*
D.: *bikes away*
i'm wondering: what did he mean with the i don't think so? did he mean: i think your brother fails, of did he mean: i think you succeed too.
i dunno. oh, and i gym class today 2 girls in my class told me D. admitted he likes me. (i know, he did. in class. you know, when a guy says yeah, i really(sarcastic) like suzi in class, i allready don't really believe it. you don't say that in class, to the popular girl-its just an obvious sign that you're faking it.and i've had guys faking liking me before.)

hhm waird, mabey he does al that stuff to get you're atention? or he is indeed faiking it. I don't know, but if I ware you, be nice to him, he sounds like a guy how is nice to the ones ho is nice to him so don't be mean and i beleave he'll be nice to you 2 oh and, did he looked nice or not? i forgot becouse, you coul'd try to get his atention 2 and see what happends, if he takes the bate, you will know enough xD

actually, as most of us know, most guys have to act tough with frienbds around, we were pretty much alone now, too. it seemed like we were both being more real this time, not acting tough but just being nice. it seemed nice, but i think that if he thought some friend of my bro's was my brother its probably the not-so-nice meaning. i don't know..he was nice that time. i wonder why he is doing all this. for good or for bad reasons? and if good, how would i react?
i really should take life less seriously.

well if you realy whant to take life less serious, you should play along, if he said he likes you, than flirt a litle bit with him, play along in his game you'll get to practisch your flirting and if you don't like him after al, dump him, he played a game, than so did you ;) it is mabey al litle hard but he'll know your not someone to play arount with! but I'm tired so mabey it's jeberisch what I'm typing xD

the problem is thaty i'm being watched all the time at school. but i think i'll act nice more, then see what he does. flirting is not really a great idea, since people will pick on me for that.

ah that is just so nice about school, if you do one thing diferent or wrong or so, they will not let you forget it, soo enoying -.- me and my friends had the habit to sit on the floor in the breacks betweet classes, but everyone whas just soo nagging about it! aventually one of the genitors came to us to say it whas dangereuse to sit in the middel of the aula so we had to stand up again -.- sometimes i think the genitores are onley hired to be as anoying as posible for the studentes! but well, they've never kissed me soo it doesn't really have anything to do with the topic xD (thank god they havven't kissed me o.0 that woul'd be wrong in soo many ways xD)

hahahahahahahahha eeyeuww
i don't know how i feel about D.
sometimes i look at him and i think wow. so cute, i hope he likes me....
and sometimes i look at him and i think ugh, get over yourself-and you're f*cking ugly.
(really, sometimes he looks cute sometimes not at all. )
confusingness....

its always confusing.
and that sucks.

maybe I will tell another story, there has nothing happend yet. but I don't know if I wanna tell it. (it's the secret I won't tell. suzi)

My experience was pleasant, but the location where it occurred was extremely weird. I was 14 and each Saturday night my church youth group would meet at the church for maybe 10 minutes of Bible study and prayer and 2 to 3 hours of playing hide and go seek in the church. All the lights would be turned off, so it was a prime spot to bring a date on a Saturday night. My first kiss occurred in a stall in the womens restroom, of a church, in the pitch dark. Don't really know what the youth leader was thinking, but it was always a good time!

haha thats so cool, and nice offcorse ;) mine whas at my bf's b-day when we ware waiting for the bus who woul'd take me home. We had kissed before but not frensh kiss if you know what i mean, it whas really waird but also really nice. so my first real kiss happend at a busstop on his b-day xD

haha, that's sweet caity.
but really. you two are a abnormally good match. if you get married in liek, 10 years, will you invite me? because that wouldn't even surprise me when i see you two together.