Poetry Free-for-all

Hi cut-out-and-keepers! I enjoy writting poetry and I think many of you do to considering everyone here is artistic. I thought it would be fun to make a poetry thread for anyone to post/talk about/or read poetry.

I guess I'll start out with one of my own...

"Post-Secondary"

Scales hang heavily judging my evils,
On one side there lays a dream unattained,
Opposite, a dream unattainable.
They teeter as I think about my life;
I regret my plans for the future.
Youth, they all say, is wasted on the young,
But the young become wasted by the world.

Mother and father offer their support,
So supportive that they offered their home!
Adult life, then, must painfully regress,
To old bedrooms with posters of rock bands.
Twin beds call back the children they once held,
Now the only monster that dwells beneath,
Is that of guilt and possibility.

Is it a mistake to want more in life?


So I would love to hear what you guys think about my poem or it would be great if you would share your own. If you're not into writting poetry but you enjoy it, maybe you can share one of your favorite poems?

Come on don't leave me hanging! Happy

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8 replies since 8th March 2011 • Last reply 8th March 2011

Reply #1:

I am staying far away from this thread. Do not let me on it! Keep me away! I will not and refuse to read other writers work as I am very critical and honest and studied writing for way too long - to the point that my teachers just handed over the class to me.

Just putting this down now- do not let me near this thread. Yell at me all you like if I come on here again. You have my permission to spam my message box if I come on here and tell me to go away.

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Reply #2:

I don't write poetry much, but I have been trying to write a song for my fiance for a while now. I'll post the chorus for some constructive criticism:

You're perfectly imperfect but you're perfect to me,
There's so much more to you than anybody else can see,
You're funny and you're caring and you share my dreams,
For the first time in my life, everything really is as it seems

What do you think? Any suggestions?

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Reply #3:

Thanks for sharing Rawr Rawr! The chorus to your song is very sweet. I really like the first line the most, it's very charming. As for constructive criticism, I have none. I like it, good job!

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Reply #4:

Thank you, I'm not very experienced in the field of song or poetry writing but I'm trying my best. I'm determined to finish it

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Reply #5:

To hopefully get this ball rolling a little more, here's another one of mine.

“Newton's cradle”

It’s a sad fate to be living,
In a house like this.

You’ve turned it into a Newton’s cradle,
And it brings you happiness.

You enjoy the fact that when you’re gone,
We’re all waiting here at home.

And you’re comfortable with the idea,
That we feel left alone.

As soon as we start moving,
You call us all back in.

We come back every time,
To find you’ve gone again.

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Reply #6:

Wow, that's really good

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Reply #7:

...Fraulein von Kulp
may turn, her hand upon the door;
I will not follow her. Nor Fresca. Nor that Gull.


-from Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov

Pinkweeds I don't think you should banish yourself. xP Who doesn't like some literature expertise in a poetry forum?
And Lo, the poem about all of the feelings associated with your parent's house is really good.
And Rawr, the chorus is perfect. seriously.

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Reply #8:

Thanks tasmia Happy -Nice Lolita quote. I read that last year in Uni.

This one is not one of mine. It's a lyric from the song "Superheroes" taken from the musical "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" I really love the verses so that's why I'm sharing.

And crawling on the planet's face
Some insects called the human race
Lost in time, and lost in space
And meaning

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