A rant and plea for relationship advice >.<

I met this guy -Who will be called caleb as a code name- back in my sophmore year. I knew about him and heard pretty bad things about him. Like he does drugs and is really stupid.So I didn't bother with him.

Until.....I officially met him at a arcade lock in. He stole my chair and offered his lap. Since I was with my friends, I knew i was safe. We shared a blanket, talked, played games and was pretty cool with each other.

After that, we started talking more. Talking almost every day. And almost every day he had asked me out. But at that time,i was actually getting out of a horrible relationship and I didnt want to deal with all the feelings again. Im the type of person who is really affectionate to both friends and people i would be dating....almost like a little kitten =^_^= But he kept convincing me that not all relationships are bad,and that I could love again and feel something even greater next time. Or with him. (hint hint...advertising...)

About 5 months later, after constant asking out. He stopped, but he didnt stop talking to me. And I decided to ask him out. He said yes, and I thought I would never feel happier.

here comes issue one : he got kicked out of school because of drugs. his mom didnt trust him much after that. and his work scheduel was all out there.

I delt with that, and he delt with my constant lockdown (because of my dad) and my traveling when he wanted to see me the most durning breaks, since my parents are divorced and I now have a step dad and little brother along with my bio sister.

Our summer away from each other was both a little depressing but romantic in some light.Facebooking all night at different hours and texting during the day. and calling somewhere in between.

And as soon as I got home, the next day I got to see him and we cuddled at my house. then i would see him a few week s after that and we hung out in the woods somewhere.

I dont really care that he does drugs, cause I know he's getting help. he's pretty smart and has a job already. He's working on getting a car too....

issue number 2 : he stopped getting on facebook and messaging me (even though my internet isnt really present), he didnt call or text me as often as usual, before his phone got turned off (and isnt going to get it turned back on, because of the car) and it's almost like he's forgotten about me.

Our friends would ask me how we were doing and I couldn't answer that...only with a meh. and when they would message him, which is rare, he'd tell them the whole story and give me a one liner. He claims he's deeply in love with me and I feel that way too. but its almost eating me away at the forever aloneness that Im feeling.

I constantly debate with myself to either break up or keep him. if I break up, no more hurt. But we've been though a lot. his dad dying, my dads anger issue....his moms issues...its a lot. And my friends arent helping. They said breakup when I asked him out. So theyre out of the equation.

he's forgotten my birthday, and holidays.....and today is our official 1st anniverary....since I dont do the crappy month-averaries...

This kitty is crying cause of this sometimes. Can anyone help Kenny the kitty out? >.<

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5 replies since 8th May 2013 • Last reply 8th May 2013

Reply #1:

I would say try to write him a letter, and leave a voicemail on his phone. It's possible that his personal life away from you is just very hectic at the moment. Focus on something else for a while that will make you happy.

My fiance and I have been together about 5 and a half years and he never remembers my birthday on the right day. He just tries to get close and I'll correct him. I think that's just how a lot of guys are though.

The only other advice I can offer is to try to touch base with his other friends and see what you can find out that way.

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Reply #2:

i totally agree monikas 3rd point or para whatever it is........u should find out if he is in problem or somethin else by connecting to his friends.........i would have done the same thing if i were in ur place.....dont worry......

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Reply #3:

I think you already know that the relationship is over and you're looking for confirmation before you go ahead with the big step. The thing is- young love doesn't most of the time last (I say that as a generosity). You're a young woman, who is spending your time waiting around for a boy who hasn't made the time to remember you.That doesn't sound like a happy or healthy relationship to me. That sounds like a young girl who is being strung along while the guy she is seeing is out there living his life without consideration to her.

But I will say this to be fair, I don't know you or your boyfriend, and I am only hearing one side and at one point in time of your relationship so I can't tell you what to do or judge it. Only you can do that. Asking your friends and family for advice will only get you one sided answers. But it's good to talk about it with your family and friends if you are uncertain. Talking it out often will lead you to the answer you're looking for.

Good luck.

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Reply #4:

@monika: Well, theres a little problem....i cant write him a letter. he'll either never get it or I'll never send it, due to the fact that I haven't actually been to his house...at all. And his phones are off so that makes it even harder. I try to find his friends that atleast talk to him, and I only got one friend to talk to him for me. and in return, he sent me one sentence saying that he's not getting his phone back on. so yeah. And i've also been trying to focus on other things, but all my friends bring him up half of the time and some things just remind me of him.

@fatima: thanks, at least i'm not the only one. Happy

@pinkweeds: friends and family dont really help. friends say break up, my family hasn't even made the Initiative to meet him when possible. In all honesty, I hope this relationship isn't over. it almost feels like a cinderella/rapunzel crossover story in a sense.

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Reply #5:

After reading your whole post, I invite you to read it back to yourself & try to critique it from an outside point of view.

I agree with PinkWeeds.
When you have time, I recommend you ask your family & friends why they think you should break up with him. They love you & they hopefully want what's best for you so it could be beneficial to take their point of view into consideration. Sometimes, we blind ourselves to the negative so we don't have to let go of a dream :/

Please keep us updated, you're in between a rock and a hard place :Y Wishing you the best <3

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