statutory rape..

thats horrible Joanne, im happy to hear your doing good now!

I take it that posting about it didn't help you feel better about it? I sometimes wonder where people get the idea that posting their friend's personal information on the internet is supposed to make them feel better. But that's just me. Please don't think I'm attacking you. I'm just working out my own thoughts on it.

I don't understand why you are fixated so much on your friend's life or her choices because you aren't the one who is going to have to live with them. I only bother with my friend's choices if they ask for my opinion or advice- otherwise it's not any of my business and my having an opinion isn't important. I don't like to spend my time focusing on it as I have my own life. It's adding unnecessary drama into your own life by fixating on something that really hasn't anything to do with you. I know it’s hard for a 16 year old girl to not wallow in drama but not impossible. Imagine how much less-complicated and more enjoyable you’re life will be if you don’t fixate on things that don’t involve you. That will probably make you feel a lot better than bringing yourself down into a low place where you are focusing on the negative aspects of someone else’s life.


Just my thoughts, but I don't think that this whole rant is really about her or her choices, it’s about you and the fact that you clearly don’t condone her choices. I don’t always condone my friend’s choices either. In fact I tend to expect more from the people I care about than from those I don’t. It’s actually a huge flaw of mine because my friends never really live up to my expectations of them. But I always keep in mind that my expectations aren’t theirs. I’m not them, and they don’t owe it to me to live up to my expectations. And it’s that last part that prevents me from passing judgment on them or their choices. I keep in mind that I don't have the right to pass judgment on anyone (although sometimes it really comes across that I am passing judgment on people), I actually just don't care. Whatever someone does with their life is fine with me. It doesn't affect me; it doesn't have anything to do with me. And I can feel strongly about it and be very passionate about things but at the end of the day, I've moved on.

I threw one of my very good friends for a loop a few months ago because he asked my opinion on a huge life-changing decision he was planning on making and I was 100% against it because he’d literally be spending his time living a lie and it felt like a total waste of time and energy to me. The next time I talked to him he brought it up and I had completely forgotten about it and actually didn’t even know what he was talking about for a good half hour after. And that’s because I knew he was going to do whatever he was going to do. He respected me enough to ask my opinion, I gave it to him without holding back and without being shy about anything I thought. But whatever choices he made, didn’t affect me and didn’t have anything to do with me. I don’t let those things bring me down and neither should you.

actually posting about it did make me feel batter about it.. saying what was on my mind helped me to not give a shit about it.. the girl isnt my friend, the guy was my boyfriends friend.. hes now stopped talking to him, for other reasons.. like i said i just dont like seeing adults having sex with children, not that i "saw" it, but you know what i mean... i knew the whole time i shouldnt be bothered with this, but i couldnt help being bothered by what was going on around me..

The again girls my husband is a full thirteen years older than me (I am 24 and he is 37) and he is the most wonderful husband I could have asked for. He loves me, is faithful and would no more abuse me than he would piss on the floor. Not all older men are out to get you but a reasonable amount of caution is a good thing.

If you're in your twenties and find a teenager attractive to the point you want to date them, somethign is wrong with you.

i 100% agree with you kateee!

I agree with you it's weird. I'm a believer that the age of consent should be 18 - When you're a legal adult. I'm always creeped out with these 20-somethings dating teenagers. My cousin just turned 18 this year and her boyfriend is 24 but they started dating when she was 16! I was super creeped out. Especially because I used to go to school with his little sister and he's always been a creep.

I've always been mature for my age, I'm 20 now and I tend to get along with people at least 5 years older than me. I just don't vibe with most people my age... I'm past that "woo party!" stage and most people my age seem so shallow and well, stupid. However, back when I was 17 I was in University in classes with 25 year olds but I wouldn't date any of them. I find its okay to like older men and once you reach an appropriate age you can date whoever you like. I don't have a problem with large age gaps but not when 1 of the people involved is a minor.

If you can't even get into a rated R movie you shouldn't be doing rated R things. That's a rule people should stick by. hahaha

i feel the same way Lo, i think it should be 18 too.. some states it is 18, but others are 14 :/
they make the drinking age 21, but you can have sex with a 14/16 year old if you want... O.o

Actually... The age of consent applies only to people having sex with others the same age i.e. a 16 year old with a 16 year old. A person who is an adult (18)can be charged with statutory rape even if they are with someone at the age of consent as that person is still a minor. Just thought I would clear that misconception.

I think the real issue here is that the girl involved is still a schoolgirl and is dating someone in their 20's. A five year age gap doesn't amount to much - this debate wouldn't be happening if she were 26 and he 31.

I do understand why BoxerBaby would be feeling uncomfortable about this relationship, even though it's none of her business (which she acknowledges!)