Am I Wrong?
So, my computer/art room isn't the cleanest of rooms, though I know where everything (what do they call it? Organized chaos?).
Though a person in my family feels the need to point it out EVERYTIME they're in there with someone else.
I know that they're joking, but there's still that unlying bit of...Ugh, I can't think of the word...
But reguardless, it's like EVERY.SINGLE.CHANCE.THEY.GET! they feel like they should let every person in the household know that that room isn't spotless and isn't organized to how they feel it should.
And I'm not going to say that it is clean -- it's not.
But then again, I'm literally the ONLY person who EVER comes into this room, and I don't really live in the room. It's just an extra room that everyone uses to store extra stuff (and because my room isn't big enough, I have to store my extra stuff here too. Though other people have their stuff mashed in here too, and want to throw more stuff in here and make an even bigger mess).
I mean, I can take jokes and stuff, but when I'm the butt of the joke all of the time, I feel like I did when I was a little kid (I was made fun of a LOT by adults and children when I was a kid because I wasn't the most beautiful or perfect creature and didn't measure up to what everyone thought I should have been...I just feel like a failure, though I CAN'T organize the room because there's NO WHERE to put ANYTHING. The room isn't huge and there's nowhere to store anything, but people seem to think that because I'm in it the most, I can MAGICALLY make the room appear).
Am I wrong to feel this frustrated at this person?
you know, mine is too. just brush it off. Mines messy, but I know where everything is
maybe they just want you to be like them. Resest it. !!!!!!!! Embrace the mess
Well...the thing is (and I can't even believe that I'm getting this personal lol) is that I've been made fun of for everything about me my whole life.
I'm obessed with having clean skin because I was made fun of for having freckles and acne in middle school.
I don't want to wear loose clothes because people used to make fun of me about it.
I'm obessed with having nice hair because it was something people poked fun at me about.
I'm very cautious about what I eat because people used to point out my weight and call me fat.
I want to get braces to fit a tiny gap in the back of my mouth that no one ever sees just because kids and adults used to make fun of my teeth (because I had to have oral sugery when I was about 2 and had to get my 4 front teeth removed and it took years for my adult teeth to grow in).
People have just been pointing out my flaws for SO LONG.
And the worst part is is that I never had anyone to talk to about it.
I had no friends that I trusted, no teachers that I felt "safe" with, and I didn't feel like I could open up to my parents.
I had to keep it all inside and pretend that their words never hurt me.
But now I've been able to open up about all those years and how I felt (and though that,I've become more confident and can truly say that I don't care what they think, ya know??).
And now, recently, I've been trying to let go of all of that stuff so that I'm able to move on become the better person I know I can be (less hateful and more loving), and I wanna go into my senior year without any of that (in my 10th grade year, I was starting to make friends and my 11th grade year, I started to become more "popular" and started getting more and more friends. This year, I wanna leave all my sadness behind me and start fresh , ya know??), and lately, its just been like...an emotional dump, ya know?
I'm remembering all the stuff people put me though, and I'm forgiving them and thanking the fact that they made me a stronger person and am able to see past appearances and try to get to know people, ya know? I just feel so weak right now for letting this piss me off so much :/
well you can talk about it here,
the more you talk the better it becomes
I don't know...I just feel so crappy right now :/
I'm worrying all about school, then trying to let go of all of this alone, and then I've been sick lately and haven't been sleeping...I think I just might be really tired.
Like...a good nights sleep might do me good lol
And now I feel bad for being frustrated...Though I ALWAYS feel bad when I get frustrated about ANYTHING...Is that weird at all?
And now I feel bad for being frustrated...Though I ALWAYS feel bad when I get frustrated about ANYTHING...Is that weird at all?
wow people always made fun of me to there were like 2 fat girls me and some girl they called fat angie it was constant then when i would get home my dad would sometime say stuff finally i said screw all of em and started dressing goth so when they stared at me they would really have something to look at and you know what it was fun just to see what they would say it comes down to no matter what u do they will say something please yourself because in the end you are the one who has to live with who you are and you will never be able to make all them happy so just make your self happy
Well, now, I'm one of the girls that people ask for fashion advice and want me to do their makeup/help them with their makeup.
My teeth are pretty much straight and fairly white and I'm often asked if I've had braces.
My skin is pretty much clear now, and my freckles have lightened.
My hair is pretty thick and healthy and always soft.
Though their hurtful words really tore me down, I was able to build myself up, bigger and better then before.
It just seems like, lately, I've been thinking more and more about the past or soemthings reminded me of it.
Now I don't know if it's my sheer exhaustion that brought on my fit of frustration, or the fact that it's just been a constant joke (I talked to the person and they said they were sorry, and I told them it was fine).
Under usual circumstances, I'm usually pretty relaxed about stuff like that (I let a LOT roll off my back. I gotta, or else I'd go nuts on everyone lol).
I wanna say that it's stress and being so tired that made me feel so bad :/
And you're right about that bit: Living for yourself.
That's what I try to live by, though the concept is so new to me, that sometimes it's nice to hear it again or be reminded of it ^_^
I don't think it's wrong for you to feel frustrated... at all. Sometimes the things that normally wouldn't bother us, can set us off. I have those days too.
I want to say I think it's VERY admirable that you took all those negative comments on your own and turned them around. I was always told not to care what others think. Of course, it's easier said than done.
My friend has been going through a lot of issues right now with her family and a few friends. I asked her about this tattoo she had, it was on her back shoulder, it said forgiving but was written backwards. She said it's only for her (that's why it is backwards so when she looks in the mirror she can read it) and that it is for her to just let go and forgive everyone. You can't change people but you can change yourself. She learned to let go and to make the right decisions and not always heed her friends words or insults.
You seem like a strong person and I think you will get through this whole room business. It's just one of those things that irritates people. I definitely get like that too. I try not to let people's words bother me...they are just words after all. Again easier said than done. xD
my "craft" room, or my hubby calls it my "junk" room looks like a tornado hit, really, but it's MY ROOM, door shut, it's where I'm most happy. But, just like you my hubby always points it out. ALWAYS, but whatever, creativity comes out of chaos, sometimes 2 things end up on the floor next to each other and I have a BRILLIANT idea when I see them laying next to one another. Frustration happens, everyday, just try to let it go, life is too short to spend it mad, frustrated or unhappy. XOXOX
Everyone is giving such good advice, so I won't go in to much detail with that...I just wanted to say though:
Never let what someone says about your personal appearance hurt you. They might think you look fat or crooked toothed or frizzy but I guarantee that somewhere, SOMEONE thinks those things are what makes a person beautiful.
I absolutely adore freckles. I love them. I want them. I married a man with them. And I have always thought crooked teeth are what makes a person interesting. No offence to perfectly straight ones. They just all look alike and boring. Like plastic teeth. It is the little imperfections that make a person interesting. If we were all tall and lean with perfect boobs and perfect skin...BORING!
Besides, this is high school we're talking about here. I never believed my mom when she said that these people you're dealing with right now don't matter. But it's true. High school is only 4 years of your life. You'll likely live 85. And as far as your family goes, making smartypant remarks, just remember that they're your family. Maybe they feel like they can jib you because you are their family and they know that you love them.
Oops, I didn't mean to write so much! Anyways, don't worry about looking like every one else to be beautiful. Be you and be proud of it because some were, someone in this world thinks you're perfect just the way you are.
Oh, and everyone gets made fun of...a lot. It's just people's nature to be mean to each other. I don't know why.
Sorry your family and friends have to make you feel that way, even if they are joking. The truth is my husband does the same thing, we have a spare room that I was told I can use as a craft room as well as for storage for everything else. It is so messy in there I always end up stepping on something or even almost falling, sad thing is I dont even go in there to work in there due to poor air circulation (texas is hot, 106 degrees). But I know where everything is just about and if there is a certain project I am working on I just take it out and sit on the sofa to do it. In fact let me take a picture.....I am hoping once it starts cooling off I can actually get in there and organize it with out killing myself from heat exhaustion or death by craft supplies lol.
Be warned it is bad, maybe mine is worse and you wont feel so bad about your room lol.
Nobody goes in but me, and the rest of the house is spotless lol.
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