Boyfriend moveing things way to fast

so im with a lovely guy who calls him self Doom (hes the guy in my proflie pictuer) we have been together for about 2 months and they have been wonderful but lately it seems like hes been moveing things a bit too fast.
like he asked me if i'd move in with him when the old tentants move out of his house
she started to even suggest things like what he'd like at his wedding if he gets married and lately hes been talking alot about babies l;ike asking me what names i like and the other day when were out shoping around town he found a babys goth out fit and he said "if only i had kids". his mum is even getting on the baby band wagon and finding all his old baby stuff and boxing it up and giveing it to us.
i really love him so much but i dont want things to move too fast,i gess some times he forgets that i'm still only 18 and hes 22 and i want to tell him that his moveing things fast is creeping me out but im scared i will hurt his feelings
what should i do?

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10 replies since 31st March 2010 • Last reply 31st March 2010

Reply #1:

u just have 2 tell him 2 slow down explain it 2 him the way u just said it but fair warning u might wana get a test its really freaky how ppl start talking about that and then it happens but just tell him ur issues tell him u want 2 wait sometime b4 yall start talkin about that and sometimes its other ppl that put the little bee in their ear 2 get the thoughts goin

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Reply #2:

I had one guy do that to me, it didn't last long. You can't rush these things, tell him how you feel. If it hurts his feeling, well what about yours? You need to think about you first. Tell him that you like him but its too soon. Maybe try going on a short vacation together, to see how it works. I moved in with my ex way too soon and we broke up. Taking things slow is better

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Reply #3:

just let him know how you feel. you enjoying being together but aren't ready for anything as serious as moving in. you don't want to break up, you just want to go at a slower pace. He might be a bit disappointed but i can't see this as being a "deal breaker", you know what i mean.
what will happen if you don't say anything? You might feel pushed into something you don't want to and regretting it later!

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Reply #4:

You could also try explaining to him that you love him and want to enjoy every bit of the relationship. When you first start dating everything is new and exciting and they are the bits you remember and reminisce about when you've been together ages. Explain to him that you want to create as many special memories as you can. When you move in together, if its right, then its also good but things get far more familiar and everyday and not so romantic things start working there way into the relationship like housework and bills and who used all the towels (you get my drift)....
I've been with my bf 12 years and we still talk about our first date, when I first stayed over, when he used to come round and see me after he had finished his shift at the pub he worked at and all the other silly but sweet memories from the early days. We took things relatively slowly. Most of our friends seem to meet someone, snog them, sleep with them and then start going together and they seemed to be practically living together within the first few weeks. I tend to think if its good and its meant to be then you don't need to rush. You have every right to slow things down - if its a good relationship then he should get that you need time. If he is really into babies and weddings then rushing you is only going to make it less likely and scare you. I hope that helps or gives you some ideas of how to play it if you decide to talk to him.

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Reply #5:

thanks guys,
now how should i deal with his mom? i dont want her to end up hateing me

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Reply #6:

talk to her as well? tell her how you feel. You feel like her grandma mode has kicked in, but let her know that you are happy with her son, and in time (if you want childern) it is possible

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Reply #7:

I'd have to agree with everyone else...if you dont want to go in that direction right now in your life then he needs to know! If you dont say anything then he might think that you agree with him and are ready to take the next step! sometimes people are ready after 2 months to talk about things like this because they feel they are ready, however the other person may not be! You need to have a sit down with him and tell him that you do care for him etc etc but you are not ready for moving in with him, marriage, kids! Remind him that you are only 18!!!!! The worst thing to do is keep quiet! Good luck sweetheart, let us know how it goes! ((((((HUGS)))))))

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Reply #8:

ok thanks guys im going to have a talk to him tonight i'll let you guys know how is gose

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Reply #9:

Happy good luck

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Reply #10:

So how did the talk go honey?
I hope it went well Happy

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