Eloping

why would you have a "mock" wedding?

im not hating, but it seems to me like you're just in a hurry to have the big day. be careful about that one. i was like that up until very recently (coincidentally, until i actually started to live with my bf), and trust me, it isnt worth it. thankfully, i have never been married before. i am 23, and looking forward to getting married to him eventually, because i love him. i dont even care as much about the wedding anymore.

i do understand where you are coming from. i was engaged at 18. thankfully, however, i discovered that he is a sociopath BEFORE we got married.

which one of you doesnt want to tell the parents? if it is you, then why not? if it is him, then DEFINITELY, why not? that right there should be a major red flag.

good luck in whatever you decide, hon. oh, and dont worry about people saying "youre too young to be in love." i dont think anyone here is saying that, and i certainly am not. we are just giving additional advice to help you along.

again, good luck! keep us posted.

PS: the sociopath ex-fiancee and the current bf are definitely not the same person. ;)

I have been in a similar situation to the one above (Rachie Home) with a very controlling ex who wanted marriage at 18.
I don't think marriage should be rushed even with the right person- it is a very serious legal and (and for some religious) contract - I wonder also why you want a mock one? The point of the day is the wedding, not the day itself.

Anyway- same as everyone has said, don't rush into things - if you are committed to each other a long engagement will help you plan and prepare for your life together.

I've actually told my bf that when we get engaged, I WANT a long engagement--the average for a couple in the USA is about 10 months; I'm up for two years or so. He was shocked. ;)

I see a long, formal engagement as something very classy and upscale.

I am a big advocate that sometimes, when you know, you know. So I won't waste anyone's time by saying you're too young or whatnot.

I will say that it is a good idea to wait. The fact that you are hiding it from the people who should be some of the most important in your life tells me that one of you thinks there is a reason to be hiding it. I don't want to know, but you might want to think about that one--hiding indicates shame; shame indicates a problem. So what is there to be ashamed of and is it something real or is it something that you're just nervous about?

When I was your age (omg I sound like my dad), I moved in with my boyfriend. We weren't engaged, but we assumed we would eventually get married. We broke up four years later. Sometimes life happens, and there is never a way of telling if the person you love now is going to be the person you spend forever with. It's a big issue, and one that needs and deserves a lot of respect. People WILL change, things WILL happen, issues WILL arise. Before signing the dotted line, think rationally through whether you as a couple can work through these things.
And you're young. There's no rush You have all the time in the world to plan the nicest or simplest, best-for-you wedding and marriage that you could dream up.

it is, there is nothing wrong with being engaged, I know friends who have been engaged for 5 years. Its more about commitment

thanks you guys and by the way (lol), maybe i shouldn't have used the words "mock wedding" i just ment basically a formally celebration of our anniversary (no white dresses or anything).

and the reason i wanted to hide it from my mother is because anything i like she hates , here are some examples:

me= i wanna be a fashion designer
her= no you are better then that there isn't even a guarantee(?) that you'll find a job like that, how about a engineer
me= chemical engineering or cloning research
her= why not settle for civil engineering
--me= i've been hiding the fact that i'm atheist
--her= you are the reason i lost my job and can't find a good enough one, god is holding my blessings because you live in my house, if you told you gma that she would look at me in shame because i failed at raising you

so basically i wasn't afraid but its a pattern i wanted to avoid, and regardless of it being now or later it would have been in the same venue (courthouse or outside) and same guests (a handful of the closest ppl in or lives, sadly this does not include our immediate families)

I still think you shouldn't hide this, and you will always have issues with family.

but getting married is not going to solve them, its going to make it worst. Not inviting family is a bad step, they could disinherit you. And what happens id something goes wrong? someone gets sick, will you have money for that? You have to be very mature about that, if you are both going to school, how will you pay rent? What will happen is you get sick, or can't pay the bills?

My mother and I disagree on almost everything, too. Honestly, if I suggest an idea, she'll say it's terrible. If my older sister suggests the same idea, she'll think it's AMAZING. It's nuts. I'm lucky to live 1 hour away from her, now, because my stress level has gone way down, that's how much we fight. But I still love her, and miss being around her, from time to time. I'm not really talking about me and my fiance getting married this year, with her, because she'll tell me it's too soon. We've known each other 12 years, lived together over a year....but to her it will be like I just got divorced, I shouldn't get remarried that quick. Guess what her biggest issue is with my fiance? He's overweight. She's always tried to push me to do things the way she'd like to. I love him, what difference does it make if he looks like Jude Law or Jack Black? He's a good man and makes me happy.
Moms can be nutty. But yeah, REALLY think this thing through. There is a whole world out there to discover, together, even if you aren't married. Especially if you aren't married. Your choices and all that are bigger...etc...

and guys, if she is totally all for it, and has covered the bases. Then in the end, its all up to you and your boyfriend. I wish you all the best, but I also hope you have taking our concerns in consideration