Advice Needed!

ok ladies, my best friend i've known practically my whole life just got engaged to some army dude she's only known for a couple of months. and hes being shipped to iraq next month and they are getting married before he goes. i met him once and maybe i'm a tough judge but he seemed like a complete idiot. i feel obligated to tell her how i feel but i know that it wont change her decision. it will probably just make her angry at me and put a wedge between us. but i just cant pretend to be happy for her anymore. tell me what you would do....

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6 replies since 7th January 2009 • Last reply 7th January 2009

Reply #1:

Well Rachel that's a difficult situation. But as her best friend I think you should tell her in the best way you can, and show her that is for her own good.
If she is your real friend, she'll get mad at the moment but then she will understand that you're worry about her.
I hope that helps you.
good luck!

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Reply #2:

Maybe ask her why the rush? I mean yeh he is going to Iraq, if she has only known him a couple of months, that's pretty quick to get married, imo anyway!

This is a tough one. You only met him once, so maybe you just didn't get to see why she loves him so much?
Well good luck!

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Reply #3:

I agree with Opposites girl, ask her why she wants to get marries so fast

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Reply #4:

Yeah tell her the nicest way possbile you don't want her to be mad and resent you. My hubby is in the Marines they are shipping out to Iraq in April. Alot of his guys are getting married before they leave or having babies.

But give her the benfit of the doubt. Me and my hubby got enganged after we knew each other for 3 months. And we are still doing awsome.

And buy the way most Military guys seem like complete idiots. Especially this close to deployment. They are trying to have as much fun and normal life experiences before they get stuck over there board out of their minds. Even my hubby is being and idiot now. LOL

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Reply #5:

thanks for the advice. as soon as i pry her away from him im gonna sit down with her and just talk about everything. and im not even gonna lie, i may be a little jealous too. ive been with my guy for over 3 years and we cant even live together.

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Reply #6:

rachel, i have the feeling it is more to do with being shipped to iraq, it is that mortality thing. we have been seeing the same thing where i work (marine base a civilian with an attitude in a military world, they call me platoon mom cause i won't take any crap and they are all young enough to be my kids) anyway, it is a basic instinct to want to have something left behind, just in case. lots of guys and gals get married, only to get divorced when they return.

you can always tell when a platoon comes back, the request for the SJA office phone number skyrockets, and you get lots of people asking about divorce.

just tell her because you value her friendship so much you wouldn't feel right without asking if maybe they are rushing it because of the iraq thing, and the possiblity of him facing death (not all areas over there are conflict areas, depends on what is "MOS" job is) tell her you want to see her happy, and the idea of her possibly getting her heartbroken frightens you.

how could anyone be mad for having a friend that asks something that way?

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