Beginners Embroidery Hoop

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  Step 1

  Turn on a good television show such as Game of Thrones or Veronica Mars and sit down.

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  Step 2

  Cut a piece of embroidery floss about a foot long. Split the embroidery floss down the middle into two sets of three strands. Take one of the sets of three strands and thread your needle. Save the other three-strand set for later. Tie a knot at the end. Leave a tail that is a few inches long.

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  Step 3

  Assemble your hoop, which includes: wooden embroidery hoop, quilt batting, and fabric. Tighten the screw on your embroidery hoop.

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  Step 4

  Draw your design or words onto your fabric with a disappearing ink pen, a water-soluble pen, or an iron-away pen. Do not prick your finger and use your own blood. That is gross.

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  Step 5

  Pierce the fabric with your threaded needle. Approach from your hoop’s throbbing undercarriage. Stop reading all those stupid vampire novels that make you use words like ‘pierce’ and ‘throb.’

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  Step 6

  Follow the numbers guide on the photos below to do a Back Stitch. Go up with the needle a few millimeters above the bottommost part of your design. (1)

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  Step 7

  Poke the needle back down into the hoop a few millimeters below the first hole on your design. (2) Now you have your first straight stitch.

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  Step 8

  Pull the needle up (3) another few millimeters above the last stitch and poke the needle into back into the same hole (4) as the top of your first straight stitch. (4 and 1 share the same hole.) Repeat the process to stitch the entire design. If all of this sounds like mumbo jumbo, just look at the pretty pictures. Try and keep your stitches evenly paced. I believe in you.

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  Step 9

  Carry on, ye beginner stitcher, with the Back Stitch. She may not be fancy, but a fine stitch she be, yargh.

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  Step 10

  Whenever your thread becomes too short, tie a tight knot on the back side and start again with a new set of three-strand embroidery floss.

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  Step 11

  Finish stitching. Unless you have more important things to do than embroidery. Which is totally bogus, because there is nothing more important than embroidery.

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  Step 12

  If you used the water-soluble marker, rinse your embroidery under water. If you used the iron-away, remove your embroidery and iron the fabric. Or, just leave it in the hoop and aim it under a hot blow dryer. If you used the disappearing ink, I hope that you finished your stitching before the design disappeared, because, dude, that would suck.

  Your stitching is done and you are now ready for my next tutorial on finishing your embroidery hoop.

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Melia P. 15th August 2014

"Do not prick your finger and use your own blood. That is gross." "Approach from your hoop’s throbbing undercarriage. Stop reading all those stupid vampire novels that make you use words like ‘pierce’ and ‘throb.’" I will never not love this.

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