I haven't gotten to celebrate anything...

So my 21st birthday was in September. My fiance and I had plans of spending the entire weekend in Sioux Falls then coming back to Vermillion for dinner.

Well, the Friday before my birthday, his mom got a call from his sister saying that our nephew had been hit by a speeding drunk driver. About a half an hour later, he passed away in the hospital.

So... for good reason, my birthday was just completely glossed over. I didn't go anywhere particularly fun, I didn't get a cake... just dinner and a glass of wine. A few days after my birthday (and one day after Joe's sister's birthday) was the funeral. So it was a pretty crappy way to end September.

So Halloween rolls around and I'm getting ready to make a Halloween costume only to be told that no one trick-or-treats up in the town my fiance's mom lives in, and we visit her over the weekends. No one I knew was having a Halloween party, and it was too late for me to plan one.

This year was the first year that I didn't get to do anything for Halloween, and I'm still really bummed about it. Add to that that I lost my nephew just 2 days before my birthday.

I just haven't had a good birthday since I was 8 years old, and I didn't get to celebrate my favorite holiday this year.

I'm hoping that my birthday will at least be good when I turn 22. I wanted to have an awesome 21st birthday but that didn't happen, and I didn't plan on having a birthday party for my 22nd if my 21st was good.

I don't know if I've done something wrong to make the birthday faeries mad or what, but I just want to go one year without tragedy or something else ruin the only day I get to have fun for myself.

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7 replies since 8th November 2011 • Last reply 8th November 2011

Reply #1:

That's awful to hear about your nephew, it's always so sad when someone is taken from this world too soon.
I'm with you on the birthday/halloween woes too! I was so bummed out this year because we didn't have any plans for Halloween, no on trick-or-treats in our neighborhood, they all go to the nicer areas, lol. But I was totally excited to watch the live ghost hunters investigation on syfy!!!! I love that show Happy well just my luck that driving home from getting grocieries Halloween afternoon I got hit head on by some asshole who thought it'd be fun to speed though a residential/school zone and pass around a blind corner. oh an I had just got my car back from getting my brakes and roters redone three days before this. So I spent my Halloween knocked out on codine because of whiplash and a bunch of aches and bruises,lol. I tried to watch my show in bed but I passed out within 5 min.

Now my birthday is a whole other story! My family always makes a big deal about birthdays, we all go to my parents house and I get my fav diner, fav cake, fav ice cream, and I get to open gifts from my family. We do this for everyone! And that's after we got older when I lived at home I always woke up to a surprise in my bed room, like a little gift or flowers or balloons. And I looooove surprises!!! But since getting married and moving half way across the world from my family, birthdays have sucked. My husband isn't into surprises and never remember how much I love them. Usually I end up picking out my own gift or just going out to dinner instead. It's very lame and I hate it. My bday is comming up soon (dec.3) and I am trying to get him focused on stuff I like when we're at the store and i pointed out what cake I'd like.... But we'll see how I goes I guess, the last 4 years have been useless, lol.

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Reply #2:

I'm very sorry to hear about your nephew. That's a tough gig. It seems like everyone in my family dies right around someone's birthday. Both of my grandmother's died right before mine.

I don't really know anyone who had a big 21st birthday- or even did anything for their birthday. I know mine passed without so much as a bleep. And I understand your frusteration with Halloween. Its me and my boyfriend's favorite holiday too but since his best friend Matt passed away we haven't done anything for it.

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Reply #3:

Why don't you plan an Unbirthday party or Half Birthday party for yourself? It'd be similar to a birthday but since it'd not really the birthday fairies can't get mad!

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Reply #4:

An unbirthday party might be fun--I could get my nephew's mom in on it, too, since she didn't get to have a happy birthday either.

Two years ago, my fiance's dad and brother were killed in a car accident a day or two after his birthday, then his grandma died the day before mine. It's like September is out to kill his family which is quickly becoming my family too. =/

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Reply #5:

Monika, I am so sorry about your nephew. That is terrible news. I like the idea of a private or personal birthday party that Lacey suggested. I hope that you do something special for yourself.

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Reply #6:

I'm certainly going to try to.

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Reply #7:

when my 21st messed up, like every birthday ivve had, my fiancés aunt told me, there is no reason to celebrate your birthday on the day, you can celebrate it whenever you want. this year for my 22nd im not doing anything except seeing my fiancé because he has the day off work and he is taking me shopping to camden and i have £100 to spend on whatever i want.
i just hope it doesnt snow like it did last year which was partially responsible for not doing anything due to being snowed in.

my friends were like "why don't you go out and get wasted?" sorry, not my idea of fun at all, going to a jam-packed club spending extravagant amounts on alcohol that i dont even drink. its my day, i get to do what i want, not what other people want. (people say that for the wedding day too)

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