I cant move on

a few years ago my nana passed away.
I was very close to her and I saw her every day you could never stay angry at her because her smile was infectios.
she was diabetic and had to prick her finger every day and measure her blood sugar I was little so I didnt realise this.
she had to go to the hospital every now and again but her daughter my grandma said "it is just a check up Lauren nothing to worrie about darling"
but then she had to stay in the hospital for about a week before she died.
I have to pass her house when I wallk to school and get so angry about the fact that she has someone else living in her house

I miss her.

when I watch titanic i cry. not because of the whole story but because i always watched it with her.

help!

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9 replies since 27th June 2011 • Last reply 27th June 2011

Reply #1:

Lauren (hugs)

What you are feeling is natural. My dad died 4 years ago now. He was 53 and was far too young to die. I was 31 when he died and my little sisters were 28 and 14 and I was heartbroken that they were too young to lose their daddy.

It does take a long time, and there is no right or wrong as to when you will feel better or when it will stop hurting so much or when you will stop feeling so bad, it will feel better when you are ready for it to feel better.

My Granddad passed away when I was 13 and then my Nanna when I was 18 and then my other Granddad when I was 24. It hurts to lose your grandparents, because you are so close to them. My remaining Nanna is not well, and I'm not sure how long she will last, but I pray every day that she will last a little bit longer because losing her will hurt me so bad, but I also accept now that it is a part of life and that although it hurts so much that the emotional pain feels physical, it does get better. I promise.

Next time you are feeling bad when you walk by her house, try remembering all the good times you had and how much you loved her. try to look at her house as a place full of love and that other people that live there now are filling it full of love and laughter and that is something your Nanna would have wanted. Nanna's are always full of love and caring, and your Nanna would be holding your hand and telling you that everything is ok, and that there is a time for everyone. She would have explained it all to you, it's just unfair that she was taken before she had the chance to sit down and talk to you.

Do not despair and try to remember the love and joy that she brought to your life, rather than focus on the pain and anger. Your nanna would want you to see the good in life and not be angry at anyone because she is no longer here.

I know that it is very easy for me to sit here and say this to you as you are the one suffering and I am the one talking, but I was where you are now and I can honestly say that although some days it still hurts, I can remember everyone fondly and I smile at the love we shared and the memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself, do not be so hard with yourself for not being 'over it' just yet.

Much love to you

K/xxx

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Reply #2:

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice. I have suffered the loss of a family member that I loved dearly. I can only commiserate and tell you to remember the good times you shared. Being mad that someone else lives in her house, is only hurting you. That house was only property. You gram doesn't need it anymore, because she is right by your side. I am sure she wouldn't want you to waste your letting something like that eat you up.

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Reply #3:

I know how you feel. My gramma died when I was four. I am 23 now. She was murdered by someone we considered family. I was very close with my gramma even at that age. I still tear up when I think about things we used to do together and things we could be doing now. But I get comfort from knowing how much she loved me and that she always knew that I loved her. Your nana would not want you to be sad. If she were here and saw you crying about her what would she say to you. My gramma would have told me that nothing is more important to her than my happiness. then she would have given me a cookie and choc. milk. Happy Just remember all the good times you had together and that she is always with you!

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Reply #4:

My grandma that I was really close to died almost a decade ago now. But just because someone dies it doesn't mean they're gone.
When I was little, my grandma would buy the flavored Tootsie rolls for me because I loved the vanilla ones. I thought the lemon ones were gross, so she would eat them for me. Since she died, I've only had them a couple times, but I'd eat the lemon rolls first and give the vanilla ones to my little brother.

Sometimes when I think of her I get pretty sad, but a loss shouldn't be about getting sad. It should be about smiling on all the good times you've had, and all the good moments you shared.

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Reply #5:

Kimmi... Im sitting here ... in frount of the screen crying. litearly crying...

especialy the part about you saying i should remember the good times when i pass her house...

my nana had this giant see throuth cabinat where see kept all of these beautiful antique doll things. I just found two of my favourite ones which she used to take out for me and let me play my gams with them. I put them in a box for when i was moving house. i just found them today.

along with a beautiful silver cross necklace. a replica of hers.


I love my Nana...

I always will...

i dont have to be angry at those i love most.

thankyou all HappyHappyHappyHappyHappy

p.s hugs you all back

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Reply #6:

Lauren,

Nanna's are precious and possibly the most amazing people we will ever know in our lives. Nanna's have the time to sit and chat to you and explain things. Nanna's have the patience that our parents do not.

Nobody can ever take your precious memories and my nanna always says that as long you remember someone that is no longer with us and you remember them with love and affection, and you smile when you do, then that person will be with you forever.
So keep your Nanna in your heart and smile when you remember her with all the love you have for her and she will be with you forever.

All my love

K/xxx

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Reply #7:

I feel for you hun. Me and my Nan were very close, she was my second parent, she helped my mum raise me and my brother. She passed away 6 years ago from breast and ovarian cancer.

You will always have the good memories of her and she will always be with you, i know it can be hard to move on but she wants you to be happy and is smiling down on you everyday. I still have days where I get sad but thats a part of life we will all go through but the love and memories are what help get us through these tough times

xx

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Reply #8:

I felt the same way when my mom died.My Dad sold the house they lived in and some one else moved in , let all the plants and trees I planted for her die, bit by bit, they let all that it was to her rot.It was way out on the desert and you have to haul your own water.Im sure those people could not haul water like my dad did, he had a large water hauler truck.But to see it like that just tore me apart.I hope it gets better for you.Im so sorry .

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Reply #9:

thanks everyone you are healping me heal from this bad time

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