I'm sooooooooo over thisss!

Seriously, excuse my language but i'm sooooo freakin tired of my aunt. I love the woman to death and i understand she's the only guardian i have now but seriously i can't tell her ANYTHING. While at my psychiatrist she told me, you can tell me anything, i'll always listen and be there for you. i knew it was bs but i still gave it a shot, and i was right. Seriously how can you tell someone who judges EVERYONE about something that's bothering you?! She says she hates being judged cause she's a lesbian, but it's fine for her to judge everyone she sees? Like just a random guy walking down the street and she's like "poor ugly thing" or seeing a lady struggling with something "she's too fat to hold herself up" i'm like are you being serious? and she laughs expecting me to laugh and i just stay quiet cause seriously you don't know the things people are going through or how they feel and they don't know the same about you so there's no reason to judge anyone. So everytime i get on a new medication i just read the basic side effects just in case, and i've been taking seroquel for 6 months and having terrible nightmares and auditory/ visual hallucinations, so after 6 LONG months i decide to see other people's reviews to learn that they're going through the same thing! so i tell her and she's like "oh it's just those thoughts in your head now because of what they're saying" i'm like wtf!!! i've had this for 6 months thinking my bipolar was just getting worse and this is what you have to say to me! She doesn't even understand how smart i really am, she thinks i'm stupid and need to be treated like a kid, when i'm super independent and just want to live on my own already! and i prolly could since i'm getting over 1,000 a month from SSI, but do you think any of that money is being given to me? HELL NO! I learn through EVERYONE'S mistakes whether it be family or friends and i know exactly what NOT to do in my future. Sorry this is so long i just need to move out already. Btw i turn 18 in september and graduate in june. Any advice?

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5 replies since 21st May 2011 • Last reply 21st May 2011

Reply #1:

I would suggest you find an adult you feel safe voicing your concerns to, and who would be there if you needed assistance. Regardless of your age, everyone needs a support system. Before you start planning to move out you must realize that even if you had your High School Degree, a full-time job, and used the SSI money you would still most likely have difficulties providing the basics. (gas,water,trash, RENT, insurance, car insurance, gas, FOOD, cell phone bill)

I strongly suggest you have a talk with your Aunt in the presence of your therapist and tell her how you feel about this issue. Having another person present will help your Aunt to remain calm (hopefully) and listen to what you have to say. I suspect your Aunt's "observations" are the result of her own insecurities, also she may see this as a way to "bond", for some reason alot of women bond this way. I personally think it contributes to a group mentality, and people feel they share something.

Please consider moving out you LAST option, it's really hard living on your own, and even more so when you are still so young, and unable to get a good job. I moved out when I was 19 and it was alot more stressful and difficult than I imagined. Plus, I was married so I had help and a support system.

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Reply #2:

i wouldn't move out on my own, hopefully *fingers crossed* if one of my friend's parents gets a new house he will keep their 3 bedroom home and i'll only have to pay 200 hundred for rent. But yeah i will try to do that but it just really feels like theres no way getting through to her, i trust my cousins and tell them my basic problems but my psychologist is the only person i can really tell everything too without regretting it.

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Reply #3:

First of all, yeah I agree with Felicity about about getting a reliable support system or someone that will listen to you. You don't want to run the risk of spending time with a psych for the rest of your life if you don't have someone else you can trust.
And second, if you are getting SSI and it's not being used for your benefit, then your aunt could be in some trouble and possibly have to pay whatever monies she spent if she is the beneficiary of your SSI. Normally, you would have to report on a regular basis of how that money is being spent, among other things they have you do to keep your checks coming and I know this because I have an autistic son who gets SSI.
Not sure about the moving out part, depends on where you live and how high is the cost of living. Maybe you could find another family member to stay with or get a roommate to split the bills. Either way, being that you are turning 18 you will be entitled to get it settled so that only your name is on the check, but if you are getting it direct deposit, which I suspect you are, you can set up your own acct and have it deposited so that only you have access to it. And because it's SSI, they will only allow you to make so much if you get a job; they go by the income that's coming into the household in which the disabled person is living. You need to contact social security and ask them specifically about your rights when you turn 18 and what you have to do to have your aunt taken off your case as your beneficiary.

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Reply #4:

not sure what seriquil is for but talk to your doctor about your side effects and u r right to read all the information on your medicine that is very responsible. never just take something because they tell u 2always research and make informed decisions.it sounds to me like your aunt makes fun of people to make herself feel better about who she is.unfortunately people with low self esteem feel like pointing out the flaws and faults of others make their own inadequacies look smaller.if no one will listen to u about the meds take half or 3/4 dose and see if that helps but your doctor should listen call the office yourself.

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Reply #5:

I have been on seriquil, I dont like how it makes me feel.I dont blame you for wanting to get off it and away from your aunt.You need positive reinforcement, not tearing down.I hope this gets resolved for you to your advantage..Good luck..I know how hard it can be.

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