Need advice on family issue
Abbyka
I have a sister who is absolutely batshit insane. This woman ENJOYS putting her family through emotional pain. She thrives on it, especially when it concerns hurting my mother. I really think she's trying to put my mother through enough emotional distress to kill her. My mom was sent to the hospital today because of this witch.
I haven't spoke to her in five years but she stalks my facebook. I didn't realize until my mother called me crying about her saying she was going to call child services on me if I didn't take down a post. The post said nothing more than how sick I am of what she does to my mother. I did not put her name though. We live several states away from one another but I doubt that would make much of a difference if she called human services on me. I called the police and there's pretty much NOTHING I can do. Not even a restraining order. My mother would have to be the one to file one. But she refuses to even stop talking to the evil bitch.
I resolved to stop talking to my mother and give her a choice, me or her, thinking she'd make the right decision and finally stop giving her power to hurt her. But no, she kept calling and I finally talked to her.
I'm sick of being a pawn in my sister's cruel games. I wish I never was born to this family sometimes because I feel like I'm the only one with the common sense to cut ties when a relationship is obviously toxic. My mother is dragging me into this by continuing to talk to her. There's a reason I haven't spoke to my sister in five years, she's aggravating.
What should I do? I can't just sit here and be abused and let my mother be abused.
michelle G.
well you do have the power to top it, you can't controll your mother, she loves the both of you, which is why she still talks to your sister.
I got the same issue, except I don't even attempt to be civil to my sister. I ignore her. Why get involved with their problems I think.
You can choose to just stop talking to her, you can get your mother help. But you can't tell her what to do, because your mom is just going to keep trying to solve these problems untill she relizes that it is hurting her.
Amanda T.
Well, the problem is that you only really get one family... and you don't get to pick them. By not talking to your mother you are both hurting her and yourself. You can't make her decide... and trying to force her is going to hurt her more. All you can really do is try and get her to understand how toxic the relationship really is... either that or try and talk to your sister.
Talking to my sister is as dangerous as sticking a gun in your mouth. 5 years ago we got into a fist fight because of her attitude setting me off. I spent 2 weeks in jail because of that, thats when I stopped talking to her. My mom says she is going to talk with my dad about it. My dad thinks more like me but he's soft, he'll do whatever my mom wants. She's pregnant again so I KNOW my mom isn't going to give up on trying to mend things. But its wishful thinking if she thinks there is ever going to be a normal relationship involving her. She's always been like this. You'd think the entire time my sister's been alive and causing chaos in the family my mom would have realized by now how evil she is and just let go of her.
Main reason I do want to stop talking to her and the rest of the family is because it's starting to affect me again even though I'm not even talking to her. I almost fainted earlier from the stress. I also have to worry about my kids who would be affected by this insanity if she really does call child services. With or without proof they have to investigate and that would scare the crap out of my kids.
I would suggest taking your mom to a therapist, or someone who would enable you to get through to her. A stressful sister that's trying to kill your mom isn't good for anyone in the family.
Nicole O.
I think that the best thing you can do right now is to just ignore anything to do with your sister. If your mom brings her up, just pretend she never said anything.
My mother and one of her sisters go through the same kind of thing with their mother and another of their sisters and a brother. They've treated my grandmother like crap every since they got married, which was a long time ago. And my grandmother still talks to them because they ARE her children and she still holds onto the fact that they weren't always the kind of people they turned out to be. She hopes that they'll become nice again like they used to be. It's been like this since I can remember and I'm 22 years old now. Eventually, your mother will realize that your sister is toxic, but it's going to take time. You can't rush it. But you can be there for her. Just don't get so involved that it affects you or your children.
It's affecting me and my children anyways. My sister stalks my every move online and uses it against my mother. I want to stop talking to my mom until she stops talking to my sister because it's affecting me even though I don't talk to the bitch anymore. All day long today I've been feeling like I'm about to faint, probably from stress.
You're allowing it to affect you. You just have to step outside of the whole ordeal. I know you want to help your mom, but you also have to protect your own children. And if she's stalking your facebook, block her and make your profile private. I had to do that because people I knew were getting info about me and then sharing with my family members that aren't on facebook. And it was info that they didn't need to know about.
I did that yesterday but knowing my sister she'll find someone else's facebook and IP addy she can use to stalk me. She really is psychotic.
Seems my other sister has joined in on the insanity. Now she's not talking to my mother and causing trouble. Seriously, why am I related to these two? WTF is wrong with them? I'm thinking it must be a brain defect they get from their biological father(we're half sisters) or something. Sheesh!
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