My boyfriend's mom is driving me bonkers!!!

My parents adopted 2 kids 10 years younger than their biological kids and they get spoiled rotten! Once when I was visiting home from out of state the kids were being brats, throwing fits, and talking back to all the adults and just acting spoiled. I told them they need to stop and respect their elders, something I was CONSTANTLY told from my parents. My mom got all huffy, so I told her she needs to stop babying them and allowing them to get whatever they want.She got mad, my husband got embarrassed, and everyone else was happy it was finally said...
My mom pouted for a little while, but she got over it and apologized. Ever since then the kids have had boundaries (again) and my mom admitted that since she is also going to school she was getting lazy with disciplining them...That's one consequence of a confrontation over discipline. Even though it's stupid.

My mum and dad are in their late 50s to early 60s and they adopted a few years ago. My little sister is 17 years younger than me and my mum spoils her also. She snacks non-stop. Gets soda as much as she can even though she never drinks all of it and is generally very disrespectful. My mum thinks she's doing a great job parenting but she isn't. Neighbors have complained to my parents against my sister who has done everything from throwing rocks at other kids to knocking down garden walls. She's super smart and in the challenge class but she's got the short end of the stick. My mum only gets upset at my sister over little stupid things, she tells my sister the opposite of anything my dad tells her and generally gives into whatever she wants to get her to be quiet. So I get where you are coming from Felecity.

It seems people that adopt spoil their kids because they think it will make up for not being the biological parents.

My niece and nephew are SO SPOILED but my niece is really really well behaved her 'temper tantrums' last a second and then she's over it and moves on she's the sweetest baby I'm like "why do they call it the terrible two's?! She's an angel" figures my brother was a horrible child he would get a good baby not fair! My newphew is only 4months so he doesnt know he's spoiled lol

My daughter was the baby from hell. God forbid we ever left the house, she'd freak out like we were burning her with hot oil. Every holiday was hard because she'd scream the entire time. She's outgrown it somewhat but still hates shopping. And speaking of shopping, when she was a baby she would NOT let me put her in a stroller. She would scream bloody murder until I put her in the baby sling(it's a sling you wear with the baby in it). When she outgrew it I forced her to get used to the stroller. She never did though, she still screams like a baby and she's three!

I was just ranting about the inlaws too who are coming for a visit this next weekend and bringing the "bullshit circus with them"! reading all this made me laugh, not anyone person but at the stories...they make my stress easier to handle!

I'm lucky my in laws never visit. They're always too busy drinking and going on vacation.

There are some pretty funny stories here. I guess everyone suffers from the same problems sometimes. It's nice to hear how others deal with it.

I should clarify my adopted sibs were from foster care and were abused and neglected so it's insane to try to spank them or use conventional methods...That's why my parents have to be creative in discipline and take away privileges and stuff like that..Not because they are making up for them being adopted, but because some disciplinary tactics trigger a regression...This is why my mom was being "lazy" cause sometimes old fashioned child rearing doesn't work. So I try to keep this in mind when I see bratty kids screaming their heads off, cause you never know why their parents aren't parenting they way you want them to. haha

Def. reading everyone's stories gives perspective on the people you have to deal with.

Oh I can understand that. My sister tried adopting a foster kid but she's not the best parent in the world. It fell through because she had a drug relapse. The kid acted out a lot and I feel bad because he may have new scars from having to move to a new home AGAIN. Poor kid was moved from place to place to place. And when my sister relapsed he was taken away. In his mind it could have felt like abandonment again. :/

Oh wow...poor kid but your sister sounds like maybe they weren't a good fit.
Something I don't think prospective adoptive families realize is that not only do you have to fit in the kids life, they have to fit in yours. As selfish and horrible as it sounds it's true. My lil sister was actually adopted by another family before we adopted her. We were her foster family since she was 6 weeks though and the family that adopted her was taking the whole set of children so it seemed like a good idea. Once it fell through we realized that she was meant to be with our family. 3 years later she is fine.

So now, my boyfriend is being awesome and telling his mom what I say. I babysat his nephews with her yesterday. I thought she was going to be sleeping because she works third and was going to nap. That didn't happen. First, she let the boys get their bikes in the house(not allowed because they scratch the walls). I just had to keep a close eye on them. Then I told her I fed the middle child, but she still got him chicken nuggets anyway. Then she gave them candy before their naps!! How dumb is that. Then when we were going to lay them down I told her the middle child needed to be put in his crib because he never lays in his bed, he just gets up and plays. Well she was trying to talk me out of it, but no. I put him in the crib and he passed out within like five minutes. So then her son in law got home from work. I thought we were going to leave. Nope. She just had to take them outside. And the oldest was being an ass and demanding that Nana find his pants, but his dad told him no(I like that he actually disciplines the kids). So he found his pants and I started to take them outside, well they wanted their bikes, but I said no way because they would have been outside forever!! So it was pretty cold outside and we only let them play for a couple of minutes and when we left the oldest once again was being a little turd. So, Nana just had to give him like forty hugs and kisses, even though his dad told her that he just does that to get more time. It was just kinda annoying because I was effing hungry and it was getting really late. Then as we were going to leave she asked me if we should take them out longer. I wanted to yell "Hell NO!! You are going to see them tomorrow!!!! I want to get home!!!!", but I just said it was way too cold. Then we get home and I talked to my boyfriend about what happened and he told her what I said about the chicken nuggets and she said "So? Little boys need to eat all the time so they can grow." So, now I think she is mad at me. But I really don't care and I think that answer is kinda dumb, because my nephew(he is going to be three in February) doesn't get two meals within the hour and he is taller than my boyfriends four year old nephew.

This was just to vent again because my boyfriend is being a butt.