This thing I wrote...

Ok so I started writing a poem and all of a sudden it turned into more of a monologue-ish thing. And I'm writing it and then BOOM I find myself tearing up while typing and now I'm not sure about the product.

So I'm here to ask you creative people out there what you think about this thing I wrote. I want to know if it should be a poem or a monologue and what I should name it. Any comments are welcome. Thanks!

Untitled (right now at least)

I’m drifting away a little farther than arm’s length.
Just one step away from being gone;
And you’re comfortable with me just being -
“there”
But it’s lonely here.
I took a step away and suddenly
You need me. You miss me. You want me to come home.
I came back. I always will come back.
But as soon I walk into one door you go out the other.
You always go out.
I’m not like her. I’m not going to stay here for you because it’s comfortable.
If you need me and miss me and want me;
Then tell me that when I’m here.
But I’m always here. I’m always right here.
And you still go out.

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7 replies since 20th September 2010 • Last reply 20th September 2010

Reply #1:

Well I don't know what you should call it..but it's really good =)

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Reply #2:

I'd call it a revelation...

I sure hope you're not talking about your boyfriend, cause he sounds like a jerk. Happy

*not to be mean or anything. Other than that, I like it. ;)

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Reply #3:

Thanks guys Happy

No, unfortunately I'm talking about my dad. But lets put it this way, if I was dating a guy who acted that way he would be looong gone but because he's my dad it makes it more complicated.

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Reply #4:

Oh, boo...

Dad's just don't get it sometimes. Or if they do, they're too "manly" to show their feelings. Just love him anyway, because I know he loves you. ;)

Something I learned that helped me to get through tough times with my mother. (she'd tell me things like, "if not for you I'd have married that guy who became a millionaire and I'd be living in Paris right now") Happy

Even though you think that as a child your parents should have no other world, no other emotions doesn't mean they don't. Parents aren't just parents. They're PEOPLE. They have insecurities and false hopes, squashed dreams, and bad days just like you do. If you can learn to see your Dad as a man, and not just your dad, it may help to understand why he acts in ways that upset you.

I'm not saying he's right...just that he's human.

Hope that helps. I'm not sure if it came out the way I was thinking it.

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Reply #5:

i agree with Dessah , Sometimes fathers dont know how to "act" to their children. My father did so too and it wasnt untill a few months before he died he told me he didnt know i felt like he "left me alone to rot" and told me that i ment the world to him he just didnt konw the right ways to show me (other than working long days and never seeming to be home ) Have you asked him to chat? perhaps having a sit down with your dad will help, let him know how you feel. I was scared to do this with my father and i really wish i did a long time before he died. i waited too long and now i have regrets about not talking to him about my feelings towards the whole thing. hope i helped Happy
worst thing that can happen is he hugs you Happy

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Reply #6:

i agree with Dessah , Sometimes fathers dont know how to "act" to their children. My father did so too and it wasnt untill a few months before he died he told me he didnt know i felt like he "left me alone to rot" and told me that i ment the world to him he just didnt konw the right ways to show me (other than working long days and never seeming to be home ) Have you asked him to chat? perhaps having a sit down with your dad will help, let him know how you feel. I was scared to do this with my father and i really wish i did a long time before he died. i waited too long and now i have regrets about not talking to him about my feelings towards the whole thing. hope i helped Happy
worst thing that can happen is he hugs you Happy

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Reply #7:

i agree with Dessah , Sometimes fathers dont know how to "act" to their children. My father did so too and it wasnt untill a few months before he died he told me he didnt know i felt like he "left me alone to rot" and told me that i ment the world to him he just didnt konw the right ways to show me (other than working long days and never seeming to be home ) Have you asked him to chat? perhaps having a sit down with your dad will help, let him know how you feel. I was scared to do this with my father and i really wish i did a long time before he died. i waited too long and now i have regrets about not talking to him about my feelings towards the whole thing. hope i helped Happy
worst thing that can happen is he hugs you Happy

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