Husband rant

I wouldn't treat my cat that way sweetie but I do understand it's not easy. Maybe just threatening him might be enough to make him buck up his ideas. Does he ever take care of the kids so you can take a night off? x

Nah, Laurel...it's not like that at all. ;)

Maybe he's depressed? I'm in no way whatsoever agreeing with his behavior...Maybe that's why he's acting stupid though?

I don't think I could put up with that kind of behavior. You're not his mother, his slave, his live in nanny, or his "needs" giver. If you know what I'm saying. ;)

You're his partner. My husband works 6 days a week, and goes to college 4 nights a week...That's his "job". I'm a mother and a "house wife" 24 hours a day. That's my "job"...but when we see each other needing help, we help each other. If he's super tired, I let him sleep in on Sundays, rather than make him wake up and take the baby so I can have a break...and On nights where I'm up with Ben all night, and I'M super tired, he'll take him and keep him occupied so I can sleep in. You know, stuff like that.

You have to give as much as you take...and that's a 2 way street for sure.

He tries to watch the kids for a few hours so I can nap or get the night off. But it's like having a kid watch other kids. He doesn't pay attention to them so they get into things(like the pudding on the wall and bed two days ago). He lets them run around and scream so even if I'm in the bedroom away from them, the kids are stressing me out.

I don't know what's wrong with him. THe reason he had even lost his job months ago in the first place was because he decided to smoke pot again. He claimed it was because of his stomach problems but for someone like me who has NO sympathy for drug users I found that to be a load of crap. Ever since then he's been acting like this big lazy baby. If anyone is depressed it's me, I'm having a hard time forgiving him. He's not making it easy to.

I think you answered your own question here:

"I don't know what's wrong with him. THe reason he had even lost his job months ago in the first place was because he decided to smoke pot again."

Can you get him into therapy?!?! Did you know about the pot before you married him?

From what you're saying I think you need someone to watch the kids one evening, then have a really long in-depth chat somewhere 'out' where he can't get distracted by the T.V, video games or smoke pot (if he's doing that near the kids then I personally think he is well out of order!). Go for a walk/picnic in the park or something, it doesn't have to cost money.

Just speak to each other and say what you're happy with and things you aren't happy with - both about each other and the relationship itself. He might not be aware of how it's getting to you (us women are hard to figure out :p, and men aren't open minded to see that - so both to blame really).

I'm not married so can't help you out with married life/problems but communication is definitely key for any relationship!

Really hope things look up for you soon darlin

I knew he smoked pot before I married him but I told him it was me or the drugs. He promised not to do it again. But a while ago I started smelling the smoke on him(I have a very sensitive nose and smoke gives me headaches). I asked him but he lied to me for weeks before he was arrested for possession and lost his job. He'd sneak out at night on "walks" to smoke in the garage. Idiot had it stashed in his car so on his way to work he got pulled over and smelled obvious.

He went to a counselor on the court's request and they said he was fine and not a drug addict. So he stopped going. I told him I wanted to see a marriage counselor too but that never happened. He says he's not doing it anymore but he broke my trust before and hasn't earned it back.

Crap...what a jerk. I wish I could help.

Same problem here but it's more like cuz I'm a stay at home mom and he works and pays all of the bills, then I don't too much make a fuss about it. EXCEPT when he says something about what the house looks like; granted it's mostly my craft stuff laying around but I clean it up and or it's in a nice organized spot, but when he comes in lays his things around instead of putting it where it belongs, that pisses me off when he's not gonna help clean house, so keep your mouth shut.

I used to think it was a fair deal-me doing all of the cooking and cleaning and everything else while he works and keeps the bills paid, but not so much anymore when he's too lazy to put a soda can in the recycle bin or put his caps on the cap rack or whatever, but he wants to b%&*h about the mess to one which he's contributing to and plus I did everything when I was working too, and all he does is watch sports or play his video games. So when he has something to say, I point out those facts which he then picks up his belongings, and this just happened again yesterday! Yeah, he will do it for a few days (maybe) then it goes back to the same thing, so it's a vicious cycle.

Don't get me wrong though, he will do the dishes every blue moon, which is scary each time, but I don't let him put them away. I will find cups and bowls in the pantry with the food. LOL But I'm like who are you and what have you done with Brian?

My grown daughter who lives at home is the same way. She's working on getting her own place (THANK GOODNESS), but until then I have to be on her case too about helping out around the house, which they both have stated that I "b%^&h", but that's the only time I can get them to do anything, so if that's what I have to do, oh well. I tell them, if you don't want to hear my mouth, then do something or at least what I ask of you...PICK UP AFTER YOURSELVES!!!!

I have it set up now that me and my daughter alternate doing the dishes each week. Thinking of giving my husband a week too (it's almost funny how he mentioned one time about him having a week to do dishes), dying to see how that works out, then that would give me two weeks off from doing them.

Sorry that was my rant on the subject, so I feel your pain. I have threatened to leave the house for a whole day and let them fiend for themselves. And believe me, I can spend all day in Walmart, Hobby Lobby or Michaels!!!

And I'm the same with smoke, it doesn't help my constant headaches, so it's good that no one here smokes. Granted they aren't illegal, but he does other things that are really annoying.

I already know what my husband's problem is but this douche bag syndrome really doesn't have a cure, well at least at the moment there isnt one lol.

I tried the whole hiding the laptop before and he went crazy on me almost consisted on some physical level but he knew if he hit me he wouldnt be in trouble just with me but my dad(who is a cop) and my four brothers.

So at the moment I just give up the complaining and get it done, reached a point that there is no point in changing him to help me if he isnt willing to help himself.

But I am not going to put my personal/marriage into view on here I am just wanting to let you know at some point you are going to break if the habbit isnt changed, you dont want to be like me 7 years down the line and basically going crazy!

Break the cycle and take charge! <3

lol If I tried hiding the computer I'd have to hide all three of them! I've considered turning the power off while he's in the middle of something and ignoring me again. But that might ruin some electronics in the process.

He's back on my good side. He bought me a tshirt with my most favorite thing of all, zombies!

holy moly, Ive never had to twist my husbands arm to get him to help me...he may not do it the way i do but he tries and hes a good listener. Im so grateful he's not into watching sports or going to the bar, and hes not allowed on the computer... joking. he makes me do his pc work. sounds like you need to ask him if he really knows you and what you want and if you are the woman he wants..Sugarlishes is right, TAKE CHARGE, its all about team work or you have nothing.