House problems

I'm really wondering why this wasn't all sorted out before you got a house with all of these people. It sounds like a huge mess. Your boyfriend def. needs to step up and be a man if he actually expects to live away from his parents any time soon. "Being rubbish with money" is a lousy excuse for not paying his share of the bills. But you also need to step up to the plate. You agreed to sign as lead tenant which does make you responsible for anything with the house and the rent should things go wrong. And believe me, with so many immature people it will. However it does not make you responsible for all the other bills unless they also go under your name. If the bills are all under your name then you do need to make a bank account for your friends to pay into and you use towards the varying bills. If they don’t pay their fair share then you will have to be Will Farrell’s land lady and if you can’t get money from them then you will have to bite the bullet and pay out of your own pocket.

My best suggestion to you is to make up contracts with each of your roommates so that they know how much they will be expected to pay each month as well as when they are expected to pay by and if they are unable to pay by given date when they have till to pay or that they need to let you know in advance by 2 weeks or they will be asked to leave and you will look for a new roommate to fill their place.

I'm sorry that you are going through all of that stress and that you're not doing well. I hope you are up on your feet soon and that you don't let this stress you out.

It's really unfair that they are deciding to leave it all down to you, considering you've just come out of surgery.

I understand how you feel, whenever we wanted to do something and it had to be paid for beforehand (like theatre tickets etc) my 3 friends, well at least 1 or 2 of them moreso, would always be like "Oh that's ok we'll put it on Becca's debit card!!" ALL the time!!

I hated it because then I would have to chase them all up for the money they owed me and 1 that was usually more insistant on putting the bill on my card was ALWAYS the one that paid me late or in bits or something because she never HAD any money herself!!

Don't do it!! Please don't you'll get nothing but hassle and grief, it's not worth it for ANYTHING. Stick to your grounds, you know (from the way you've worded things) that it's npt a good idea so tell them why and tell them you won't put up with it.

I do feel for you because it's an awkward situation. The only thing I can suggest is maybe either you and one of your friends, or the other two friends open a new "joint" bank account to put the money into.

If all else fails then like PinkWeeds said make a written contract, then if someone doesn't pay you had proof that you made the arrangement and could sue them (if it ever got that bad).

Oh it's not my boyfriend PinkWeeds, it's my friend's boyfriend who's being a pain. And the whole being rubbish with money thing isn't exactly inspiring for the rest of us.

I looked at the contract and being lead tennant means nothing except I'm the first person to call if they need to contact us. Nothing is my responsibility. But I don't mind organising stuff - hell, I'm gonna end up organising what companies we go with and who does what anyway. I'm not trying to pass on responsibility, I'm just trying to share it out. And a little sick of always having to be the adult.

And that's the problem, that I would have to pay myself if one of them doesn't. I don't have the money to do that, I'm just a student too. They can say they'll definitely pay but if say, Lizzie gets annoyed with me and decides not to give me the money that month, I'm fucked.

I thought about the joint account thing, and may do that. The only other thing we might be able to do, is if the only problem with us doing one bill each is that Jake's refusing to take one, the other four of us do. The deal is that technically four of us are on the contract, but my boyfriend will be living there off-contract. So we could just do it so that the four of us do it and Jake just pays us. I'd rather not do that, cause me and Andy haven't even been together a year and we don't know if this moving in thing is going to work, and if he leaves then I'll have to take over managing his bill...but unless someone else steps forward and decides they want to run the one account it all comes out of, I don't know what else we can do.

I agree with Lolly's comments. Stick to your guns here. You could end up out of pocket and with no friends.
I like the idea of a written contract too.
You could always open a joint account at the post office. That way whoever is able to go pay bills that may have to be over the counter can pay them through the account at the post office.
Most things can be paid there. It's also easy to see payments that have gone into the account and when anyone puts money in they could ask for a seperate receipt as proof.
On a monthly basis you could all spend 10mins discussing the finances and things like if there is a heavy quarterly bill due how you will deal with it. Keep a written account.
Everyone could add an extra £5 for 'emergency fund' each month and what is not used can be shared out at end of each quarter once bills are paid.
That way if someone comes up short with cash it won't land one one person to struggle to find money.
Just my thoughts...hope some of the ideas help. I've been let down in the past and wouldn't want you to go through that.

stick to your guns girl. You are not responsible for them. The best is to not use one account if you think they are not going to help pay on time

Thanks guys, I'm glad I'm not just being irrational...they're making it sound like I'm being really unhelpful in not doing it, but it's very easy for them to say that when they're not risking their own money.

I've been talking it over with my dad, and we think that the easiest option is definitely to do one bill each, and Andy would do one instead of Jake (I've already asked him and he's fine with that). We're gonna talk about it at the house tomorrow but my dad's said that if everyone's still being awkward about it, he'll set up an account, sort out all the bills and we'll pay him so much every month. Because it'll be a set amount every month, we may well end up paying more than is necessary, and my dad will keep the extra as his fee for doing it. I don't want to pay more than I have to, but if everyone's being annoying and that's the only way to stop an argument, we may have to go for it.

No you're not being irrational. I forgot to mention that the one friend of mine that is always insistant on putting things onto my card still owes me £15 for making her tutu!! And I made her tutu in the middle of June!!

That doesn't sound too bad... I hope you get it all sorted properly soon

Agh. I hate it when people take advantage of maturity like this. There's always the one mature friend that people think "oh, she's responsible, she'll do it for us!" This definitely isn't a problem with you, it's a problem with them, and the fact that they're making you feel bad about it is probably just selfish manipulation on their part. I agree with Michelle, you've got to stick to your guns. These friends of yours have obviously spent their lives believing that life is a cake walk, and that if they just sit back, someone else is going to do the work for them. (Maybe not all of them, but definitely the one guy you've been talking about.) If you take on their extra responsibility, you're not helping prepare them for the real world when they finally do grow up and get houses completely on their own. It's best to learn now while they still have enough time to make some mistakes. Teaching them to pull their own weight is really the best thing you can do for them. So says my motherly mentality. ;). Oh, one more thing, and I'm sure you're going to hear this a lot, if your boyfriend truly cares about you, he should be on your side in a situation this serious, not simply trying to please his irresponsible friend. (BTW, after writing all this, I just noticed your last post and it looks like you've got things pretty much resolved... Oh WELL! I'm still posting my take!) Good luck with everything.

I hope that you find a solution to this situation
You have my support

I hope that you find a solution to this situation
You have my support

Just have ALL your names on the bills, and pay by cash not direct debit.

I would not recommend having a shared account (in terms of names) with people who aren't good with money... imagine, the end of the month comes and one person decides to open an overdraft (yes, they can do that) and the rest of you are left in arrears. Personally, I would insist on a (seperate from my main) account in my name and set up standing orders/direct debits for the bills to come out of the housemate's accounts, into yours, on the same day as the rent or the day after their payday.

Hmmm, can you tell I have had many a year's experience with housesharing...?

Squizita: Omigosh I had not even thought about that. Imagine the horror of it, sod that!!

oh god, sometimes I wished I never shared a house. The horror